


Replica

by Jane Jones (raynewton)



Category: Star Trek
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-20
Updated: 2018-11-20
Packaged: 2019-08-26 01:39:54
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 1
Words: 34,974
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16672348
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/raynewton/pseuds/Jane%20Jones
Summary: The replica Spock survives and wants revenge





	Replica

**Author's Note:**

> This is an adult K/S story. No attempt is made to supersede any rights held by Paramount, NBC, BBC, or any other holders of copyright in STAR TREK material, including Bantam Books; 'Replica' is a sequel of sorts to James Blish's novel SPOCK MUST DIE.  
> It is not necessary to have read the book in order to enjoy this story. To clarify a few points, however, for those who are unfamiliar with the story; the following is a brief resume of SPOCK MUST DIE.  
> The Enterprise finds itself in the middle of an undeclared war with the Klingons. The Organians are contacted, but it appears that their planet has been destroyed or has disappeared. Mr Spock volunteers to take part in an experiment, whereby he will be sent by the transporter to Organia; which is apparently now well outside normal transporter range. The experiment fails; and suddenly there are two Spocks. They are indistinguishable, and both claim to be the original Spock. However, one is a mirror image of the other; therefore one is good, and the other evil!  
> Kirk decides to call them 'Spock one' and 'Spock two', and gives Spock one his 'Class' rings from the Academy, so that he can tell them apart. At the end of the story, the two Spocks fight; but more on the mental plain than the physical, and the Replica is presumed to have been destroyed... however...

REPLICA

by Jane Jones

 

Mirror, Mirror,

                       on the wall,

                                         who is... ? 

                                                         Grimm's Fairy Tales

  


Note This is an adult K/S story. No attempt is made to supersede any rights held by Paramount, NBC, BBC, or any other holders of copyright in STAR TREK material, including Bantam Books; 'Replica' is a sequel of sorts to James Blish's novel SPOCK MUST DIE.

It is not necessary to have read the book in order to enjoy this story. To clarify a few points, however, for those who are unfamiliar with the story; the following is a brief resume of SPOCK MUST DIE.

The Enterprise finds itself in the middle of an undeclared war with the Klingons. The Organians are contacted, but it appears that their planet has been destroyed or has disappeared. Mr Spock volunteers to take part in an experiment, whereby he will be sent by the transporter to Organia; which is apparently now well outside normal transporter range. The experiment fails; and suddenly there are two Spocks. They are indistinguishable, and both claim to be the original Spock. However, one is a mirror image of the other; therefore one is good, and the other evil!

Kirk decides to call them 'Spock one' and 'Spock two', and gives Spock one his 'Class' rings from the Academy, so that he can tell them apart. At the end of the story, the two Spocks fight; but more on the mental plain than the physical, and the Replica is presumed to have been destroyed... however...

***

It was over. Finished. The Klingon dream of conquest ignominiously shattered by the release of the thought-screen around Organia. The Federation licked its wounds and left the final punishment of the Klingons in the hands of its powerful allies. As for the Enterprise - tomorrow the crew would begin a long and much-needed leave.

Although he should have been relaxed, eagerly anticipating his weeks of freedom, Kirk prowled his quarters restlessly, his mind in turmoil.

The replica was dead - he had himself witnessed that last terrible battle of illusion - and the events of that traumatic night were locked only in his own mind now; but tomorrow... tomorrow he must somehow find the courage to tell Spock. He dared not do otherwise, for at any time it might be necessary for the Vulcan to link with him again; and Kirk was afraid of what might happen if Spock, unsuspecting, entered his mind and learned his secret. He sighed as he remembered Spock's quiet anticipation of their leave - after tomorrow those faithful eyes would never again meet his in quite the same way.

When he did at last retire Kirk's sleep was restless and broken; he woke unrefreshed, but determined to show nothing of his confusion until the time came - he would have at least this last day of perfect friendship to remember.

So successful were his efforts at concealment that neither McCoy nor Spock noticed anything wrong when he joined them for breakfast. All three men were already in civilian clothes, ready to leave. McCoy intended to visit friends on the planet below, Kirk and Spock had made their usual arrangements. They often visited this planet, and had bought a small lakeside chalet high in the mountains which served as their base on leave. It was always their custom to beam down with the rest of the crew, and spend the first day walking to their destination, slowly unwinding after the strain of their duties.

For Spock, this day was no different from any of the other times they had made the journey; if Kirk seemed unusually silent the Vulcan affected not to notice - a few days' rest would soon restore his friend's bubbling enthusiasm, he thought.

The sun was setting as they reached the cabin; by the time they had eaten and cleared away their meal it was full dark, and the evening chill made both men glad to draw closer to the fire. They sat in their customary positions, Kirk sprawled in a chair, Spock curled up on the rug at his feet, gazing into the flames.  _What visions did he see there?_ Kirk wondered, and sighed, knowing that very soon now he must shatter that calm serenity. At the sound Spock looked up quickly, his eyes glowing with the concern only Kirk - and perhaps McCoy - had ever seen there.

"You are troubled, Jim?"

"Yes. I've been wondering how to tell you... Spock, will you do something for me?"

"Of course."

"What I have to tell you... is not easy for me, and it will... distress you. Promise me that you won't interrupt, that you'll hear me out to the end - whatever you think."

"You have my promise, Jim."

Kirk turned his head away, unable to meet the steady, trusting gaze of those dark eyes. He swallowed painfully.

"You've seen all the reports on your... replica? Well, there was one report I never made. Officially, after he locked himself in McCoy's lab I didn't see the replica again until we encountered him on Organia. That was a lie. The night before he stole the shuttlecraft and left the Enterprise he escaped from the lab somehow. He came to see me... "

_It had been a rough day, and it looked as if things would get rougher. Kirk would have staked his life on his knowledge of his First Officer, but he was as unable as anyone to distinguish between the two Vulcans. Knowing only that he must get some sleep Kirk retired to his quarters, showered, and climbed wearily into bed; despite the problems that still nagged at him he was soon asleep._

_He awoke with a start some hours later, wondering what had disturbed him; he lay quietly in the darkness for a moment, gradually realising that he was not alone. Reaching out, he snapped on the bed-light, and as he had suspected, a familiar figure stood patiently at his side. For some minutes Kirk studied the impassive face as instinct became certainty._

_"You're the replica," he said flatly._

_"Correct, Captain."_

_Kirk's eyes dropped automatically, and the Vulcan extended ringless hands. "Did you really believe that I would make such a stupid mistake?"_

_Kirk reached quickly for the intercom, but his hand was caught and held firmly. "I regret I must restrain you - I do not wish to be disturbed."_

_Hard fingers found and pressed the vulnerable point between neck and shoulder; Kirk slumped back, unconscious._

_When awareness returned Kirk found himself lying awkwardly across the bed; his hands had been stretched above his head and secured so that he could not turn or sit up. Realising that it was useless to struggle, he lay still and gazed up at the Vulcan, who was sitting beside him on the bed._

_"What do you want?" His voice was surprisingly calm._

_"The opportunity for a private conversation, Captain. What I have learned of you from my counterpart's mind is truly... fascinating." An eyebrow lifted in a parody of Spock's familiar expression - on this cold face it looked somehow... menacing. "I also wish to conduct an experiment. The results should be most instructive - for you also, I think." He paused, as though considering how to proceed. "The Vulcan - you consider him a friend, do you not?"_

_"Yes."_

_"And you believe that he shares that feeling?"_

_"I would be honoured to think so."_

_"My dear Captain, the Human capacity for self-deception is truly amazing! You must be aware that it is not friendship he feels for you."_

_"I don't believe you!"_

_"I think you do - for why should I lie? Shall I tell you his true opinion?"_

_"I don't want to hear it!" Knowing the uselessness of his efforts, Kirk struggled in his bonds. The replica would lie, of course, attempt to shake his faith in his friend - he would not believe, but he did not want to hear the lies that would come._

_"You will hear, Captain." Leaning closer, the replica drew a long breath, then spat out, "He loves you!"_

_"What!" Kirk stopped struggling, staring incredulously._

_"That surprises you? I thought it would, but it is true - I know his mind as well as I know my own. The fool calls himself Vulcan, yet he is obsessed by the thought of you. He would never speak of it, of course - he has not the courage - but he dreams."_

_Kirk shook his head in denial, too stunned to speak._

_"You doubt me? Of course you would; it is hardly something to be proud of, is it, James Kirk, to know that you are the central figure in the perverted fantasies of a degenerate Vulcan half-breed? Shall I convince you? Shall I show you what he dreams?"_

_Kirk tried to shrink away as the replica reached for his head, probing for the mind link, but the bonds held fast, he could not move. He only knew that he must not permit that contact; with the full force of his will he tried frantically to shield his mind - tried, and succeeded. It seemed that whatever the replica might be, he did not possess Spock's full telepathic powers - Kirk knew that he could never have resisted his First Officer._

_The replica shrugged."No matter; it is, after all, my own curiosity I wish to satisfy. What is it about you, I wonder, that attracts him so compulsively?"_

_Again the hands reached out, this time to grip the edges of Kirk's robe and wrench it open so that the Human lay there naked. Kirk felt himself redden under that interested scrutiny - no man had ever looked at him in this way before. The replica was studying his body with close attention, and Kirk shuddered in revulsion as he sensed a change in the Vulcan's attitude, a change he could not quite define. Slowly the long fingers came to rest against his neck._

_"A very sensitive area in a Vulcan - did you know that, Captain? He dreams of your lips against his throat, and whimpers with delight in his sleep. His hands touch you... so... " With careful deliberation the replica slid his hands over Kirk's skin, watching the involuntary shivering that followed each caress. Kirk bit his lip, determined not to give the creature the satisfaction of seeing his revulsion._

_"He is so innocent," the mocking voice gloated. "I wonder if he would know what to do with you, even if he had you in his bed." The searching fingers stroked Kirk's thighs, and paused. The replica leaned closer. "Shall I teach you?" he asked softly. "Shall I teach you, so that you may teach him? Poor Spock - why be selfish, Captain? You have shared your body with so many women - why not with him? After all, he loves you - they did not."_

_Warm breath fanned his lips. Kirk turned his head aside, but strong fingers caught his chin, pulled his face round, held Kirk firmly. The replica chuckled, seeing his apprehension._

_"I will enjoy your kisses later, Captain, when I have leisure to... instruct you properly. For now, time grows short - and there is the experiment I spoke of. Later, when I have achieved my victory, I will ask the Klingons to give you to me as a reward for my services."_

_The hands were everywhere, touching Kirk intimately. Kirk closed his eyes in shame at his body's automatic response to the rhythmic squeezing of those warm fingers, trying to keep his mind apart, untouched by what was happening to him. His tormentor was deliberately prolonging his humiliation, bringing Kirk almost to release, then pausing for a while, only to begin his manipulation again, watching with interest as tears of shame crept from Kirk's closed eyes. Gradually he increased the pressure, the slow pumping motion grew faster, more urgent; Kirk groaned in anguish as his body convulsed and he felt the wet warmth spatter across his belly._

_"So now we know," came the contemptuous tones as the replica casually wiped his hands on Kirk's body."The touch of a man's hand can arouse you after all - did he sense that in you, I wonder?" The bed moved as he rose to his feet. "Look at me."_

_Kirk obeyed, opening dull eyes. The replica was smiling with satisfaction._

_"Our next meeting promises to be... most interesting. Now, I must leave you - my plans are almost complete, victory will not be long delayed. The next step is the destruction of my counterpart, and I have already begun that, for I have succeeded in driving a wedge between you. Even if you manage to identify him before I have won, you will not be able to trust him as you did before, for now every time you look at him you will remember that he dreams of you naked, panting in his arms. However, the problem will not trouble you for long - when I have defeated him you will experience what he only dares to dream." The replica bent lower, adjusted Kirk's bonds._

_"You will be able to release yourself with a little effort; by then I will have returned to... where I came from, and you will not be able to tell which of us visited you. Farewell, Captain - for the moment." The Vulcan hesitated a moment longer; his hand reached down, brushed Kirk's face lightly, then he turned, and the door closed silently behind him._

_For a long time Kirk lay still, unmoving; he was empty, drained, incapable of feeling - and he dared not think. At last he pulled wearily at his bonds, and was free. On unsteady feet he crossed to the bathroom; the movement brought a wave of bitterness into his throat, his stomach churned, and he was thoroughly and violently sick. For several minutes he remained poised over the basin, his head hanging, unwilling to raise his eyes to the mirror for fear of what he might see there. When he was certain that the nausea had passed he entered the shower and began to scrub compulsively, as though he could scour the contamination of the replica's touch from his skin. Finally he crawled back into bed, pulled the covers around his shivering body, and lay there, his mind unwillingly going over what had just happened to him._

_How blind he had been! It seemed that the replica's words and actions had drawn aside a curtain in his mind, allowing Kirk to see at last the evidence that had been there all along. Of course Spock loved him! Why had he not seen it before? Quickly-veiled glints in the velvet-dark eyes, the occasional notes of tenderness in the usually cool tones, the gentleness of those strong hands. Spock had hidden it well, but now that he knew what to look for, Kirk could see clearly at last._

_That the feeling had grown without Spock's wish, Kirk was certain, and knew how the Vulcan must have struggled against those forbidden emotions; and the dreams... if they were as explicit as the replica had claimed, how embarrassed, how ashamed Spock would be if he learned that Kirk knew of them!_

_It seemed to Kirk that the two Spocks passed in turn before his confused eyes. First the replica, insolently claiming and receiving an involuntary response from Kirk's unwilling body. It was his first experience of a sexual advance from another man, and he had not thought that such a touch could arouse him - it seemed that he was wrong._

_He shuddered in shame at the memory, turning with relief to the second figure now approaching hesitantly. Spock himself, all his love and devotion shining like starlight in his dark eyes, yet hanging his head in confusion, afraid of the disgust Kirk must surely feel. Instinctively responding to Spock's distress Kirk reached out, only to see the image fade as he came fully awake once more. Lying there, considering his dream, remembering all the events of that night, Kirk's muddled thoughts began to fall into place; his eyes widened in understanding, and he smiled suddenly - now he knew what to do..._

Kirk's hesitant voice faded; the only sound in the room was the faint crackling of the log fire. Suddenly the silence was broken by a harsh, painful sobbing.

Startled, he looked down at the man at his feet. Spock knelt, his shaking hands spread to cover his face, his head bowed, and the breath caught painfully in Kirk's own throat at the sight of the Vulcan's anguish.

"Spock... don't. It's all right... please, don't... "

"I am... so ashamed," Spock whispered brokenly. "That you should have learned... and in such a way! I dare not ask forgiveness. Oh please, do not hate me - I could not help loving you... I'll go... How can you bear the sight of me?" His voice choked on bitter tears.

Kirk was very calm, knowing how much depended on how he handled the next few minutes. He reached out and gently stroked the silk head bowed before him, feeling Spock shiver at the touch.

"Hush, Spock - you promised to hear me out to the end," he murmured. "I've had a lot of time to think since... since that night. My first instinct was to pretend that I didn't know how you felt about me, then I realised that I had to tell you, for two reasons. The first was straightforward; if we ever linked again, you would find out that I knew. The second reason... " Kirk hesitated, gathered courage, and continued, "The second reason was that you would learn that... that I love you too."

"What!?" Spock's head jerked up, the tear-drowned eyes meeting his incredulously.

"It's the truth, Spock. What the replica did to me, that meant nothing... No, it was what he said about you, that made me stop and think... and I knew... if it had been you who came to my room that night... Spock, I'd have... welcomed you," he said frankly.

The dark eyes dropped again. Spock shook his head in denial. "No. It is not... it cannot be true. You would have been... disgusted. It is so like you, to try and make this easier for me, but I do not desire your compassion. I had no right... Jim, I can bear no more - let me go!"

Kirk slipped to his knees, clasping the Vulcan's shoulders. He had expected this inability to believe, and had prepared for it. Taking Spock's hand he pressed it carefully to his head.

"Link with me - and know," he whispered.

Hesitatingly, Spock obeyed, and Kirk felt the familiar warmth of the Vulcan's mind enfold his, experienced the dazed, uncomprehending joy that filled him as he understood the reality of the love and welcome Kirk was pouring out to him. Shyly, then, he dropped his own barriers, and their minds met fully, overwhelmed by the intensity of this newly-admitted feeling.

Spock was still hesitant, unsure. Reaching out, Kirk took his face between his hands, drew him closer, and gently kissed the lips that trembled under his, each scarcely daring to believe what was happening. When Kirk raised his head at last they knelt for a long moment, gazing at each other with wide, half-frightened eyes, stunned by the emotions that kiss had aroused; then Kirk leaned forward eagerly, and their lips met again.

Kirk had been kissed many times, but never with such a tender reverence; he had not thought that a man's lips would be so gentle. His tongue brushed the Vulcan's lips lightly and they parted obediently. After a moment, sensing the Human's enjoyment, Spock returned the caress, growing in confidence as Kirk's lips, in turn, softened and parted to admit his exploring tongue.

That kiss from Spock gave Kirk more pleasure than any kiss had ever done before - it was so strangely... different. Knowing how long the Vulcan had dreamed of this moment, he had expected a passionate urgency, but not this sweet, gentle sense of - homecoming.

They drew apart, but Spock seemed content just to hold him, gazing into his eyes with wondering love and joy. Kirk smiled very tenderly, remembering Spock's innocence - he wondered if the Vulcan had any sexual experience at all. He seemed to be waiting for some guidance from Kirk, and the Human was prepared for that, too. Reaching out he unfastened and removed Spock's shirt, then guided the Vulcan's hands to his own shoulders. Spock watched Kirk uncertainly at first, then, responding to Kirk's smiling encouragement, began to unfasten the Human's shirt, his inexperienced fingers making him unusually and endearingly clumsy. At last he succeeded and the shirt fell away, while Spock's warm hands closed around Kirk's waist.

Remembering something the replica had said, Kirk leaned forward and pressed his lips to Spock's throat; the Vulcan shivered with delight and Kirk licked gently at the line of his neck before returning hungrily to his mouth. Spock leaned back and Kirk followed him to the floor, enjoying the sweetness of his lips, feeling desire build in himself for the man in his arms.

He wanted Spock with a more intense urgency than he had ever felt before, but the familiar ache in his groin made Kirk pause, considering. Spock would give - but would he also take? Kirk wanted the Vulcan both as lover and beloved - the former might be the more difficult to achieve. He must restrain his own impatience, somehow convince the Vulcan to make love to him first.

Deliberately, then, he shifted position so that he lay against Spock's arm, smiling up into the dark eyes. He let his fingers trail down Spock's chest, coming to rest on the clasp of his belt; at once the Vulcan's hand closed over his, preventing further exploration.

"No, Jim."

"Why not? I want... "

"I know what you want, for I desire it too. But please, think for a moment - you do not know what you are doing."

"I need you - don't refuse me."

"I must, for your own sake. Jim, if I mate with you, we will become bonded. When pon farr returns it is to you that I would be drawn. I would hurt you... you cannot imagine... how much."

Kirk snorted. "I love you, Spock - that's all I care about. Pon farr... it frightens me, I admit, I'd be a fool to pretend otherwise. But I'm far more scared of losing you, or of having to watch you take a Vulcan wife. I've never... loved a man before, I need to learn, just as you do... but when pon farr returns I want to be here to help you. Spock, I couldn't bear to watch you die... or to see you married to someone you don't love... I want you... and I must have you."

"Jim... even now, with full control, I will hurt you."

"I don't believe that. But if pain is the price of your love, I'll pay it gladly. Spock, I've found at last the one thing I've been searching for all my life; don't make me lose it."

"Are you sure?"

"The only thing I'm sure of is that I love you - and need you."

Deliberately Kirk pressed his hand against Spock's groin, feeling with delight the betraying hardness that told him the Vulcan's own flesh was in league with him against that logical mind. Feeling the caress, and his own response to it, Spock groaned; for the first time in his life acknowledging himself defeated by another's will; then they rose and, wrapped still in each other's arms, they walked to the bedroom. Spock seemed to move in an unreal haze, as though he was half asleep. The only reality was Kirk's voice, thick with longing, whispering, promising, comforting; Kirk's eyes, beckoning him into a world of exquisite, forbidden delight. He was capable of understanding only one thing - whatever Kirk wanted, he must have.

All sense of continuity fled; he was left only with a series of impressions burned into his brain like fire.

He was sitting on the edge of the bed, looking down at Kirk's bent head as the Human knelt to remove his boots.

The touch of gentle fingers gliding through his hair, tracing the upswept line of his eyebrow, exploring the curve of a pointed ear. The uncontrollable trembling in his body as moist lips scorched across his throat.

Kirk's hand, confident, assured, unfastening his belt, stripping away the remainder of his clothing.

A delicately probing tongue passing between his lips as he savoured the taste of Kirk's mouth, so often imagined, never in his wildest fantasies anticipated.

A sudden fleeting glimpse of Kirk's naked body as the Human dropped the last of his own clothing and turned eagerly towards him.

Then he was being pushed backwards onto the bed, strong arms gathered him close, and that warm, delicious mouth claimed his lips again. The knowledge that his most secret desires were being granted was too much for any control, Human or Vulcan; Spock returned the kiss with an intensity that revealed to Kirk how much he had hungered for this, and produced in the Human a fierce determination that Spock's long-hidden needs would be satisfied in full.

Slowly Kirk drew away, smiling down at the Vulcan, planning, considering, recalling the caresses that aroused him. With slow deliberation he ran his hand down Spock's chest and stomach, his fingers lightly brushed the softness of hair, and curled gently around Spock's penis. It felt strange in his hand, so like his own yet so different, burning with an unfamiliar heat that gradually spread from his hand through his body until his veins seemed to run with liquid fire. His free hand reached for Spock's, guiding the Vulcan's fingers over his skin, teaching him to seek out his most sensitive areas; after a time he let go, and to his delight Spock's hands continued their eager exploration, searching, probing, caressing, while the dark eyes watched with careful concentration the ardent responsiveness of Kirk's body.

With a sigh of satisfaction he slid an arm around Spock's neck, drawing the Vulcan's mouth again to his lips; his other hand, maintaining its grip, began to move gently, then more urgently, until he felt the organ he held quiver in his fingers and begin to swell. He continued the motion until he was certain that Spock was fully aroused, then he relaxed his hold, smiling again as he felt Spock's arms tighten, pulling Kirk closer; he glanced quickly at the swollen hardness pressing against his thigh, and knew that Spock was ready.

For a moment Kirk hesitated - he had not thought beyond this point -then, with vague memories of something he had heard or read long ago, he dropped his arms and began to turn his back to Spock.

"No, Jim!" Strong fingers caught his shoulder, pulled Kirk round until he was lying on his back; Spock, leaning on one elbow, was gazing down at him worriedly.

"It's all right, Spock - I want you to take me."

"I know, and... I must have you now... but not like that."

Puzzled, Kirk frowned in bewilderment; Spock continued haltingly.

"Jim, you are not some... some anonymous body to satisfy my need. You are all I love in life, my - forgive me, I know no other word - my mate." He was breathing heavily now, almost beyond control. "1 would... join with you, but with pride; do not hide your face from me as though you were ashamed. May I... may I not see your face as we mate?"

"Oh, Spock!" Kirk reached up, touched Spock's face with helpless tenderness. The Vulcan loved him so much, yet was still shy, hesitant, afraid of displeasing him. He pulled Spock closer, whispering into one pointed ear, "Don't think, don't worry about anything, Spock. Do as you wish - just don't make me wait too long."

"But Jim... "

Kirk silenced any further protest with an urgent kiss, and felt the Vulcan relax in his arms. Spock's hands continued to glide gently over his skin, growing in confidence at Kirk's obvious pleasure. The warm fingers, so light, so careful, seemed to trace a path of fire across his flesh. Kirk gasped, his eyes begging for more. The desire he had felt, to possess Spock, was reversed now, his own body eager to be mastered. His head turned from side to side on the pillow, his spine arched as he pressed himself even closer; his hands clutched at Spock's shoulders and he sank his teeth into his lip to prevent himself from crying out, but a soft, tormented moaning in a voice he scarcely recognized as his own began to accompany the slow writhing of his body.

Cool air replaced the warmth of Spock's skin on his; with a murmur of protest he opened his eyes to see Spock kneeling at his side. The Vulcan met his gaze and smiled reassuringly, then slid his hands along Kirk's thighs, gently urging them apart. Kirk shivered, feeling suddenly vulnerable, then realised that the Vulcan, sensing his apprehension, was drawing back. Forgetting his own nervousness in the need to calm Spock's, Kirk smiled, leaned back, and pulled Spock on top of him, between his thighs, gasping with excitement as the hard muscles of Spock's belly pressed against him, trapping his penis between their bodies.

The Vulcan reached up and pushed a pillow under Kirk's hips so that he lay tilted slightly backwards. His eyes questioned, and Kirk nodded eagerly; the Vulcan's body, inclined over his, moved closer, and the breath caught in Kirk's throat at the sudden indescribable pain of penetration. Instantly Spock's hand moved to his head, taking his pain as their minds began to link in a strange new fashion. Never before had Kirk been so aware of his own body; every muscle relaxed, allowing Spock to penetrate deeper and still deeper within him, welcoming the intrusion with a gladness that told Kirk he must have desired this long before he was aware of it.

"Jim, look at me - do not be afraid." Spock's voice was husky with tenderness.

Kirk obeyed, revelling in the unaccustomed yielding of his body as Spock's organ pulsed within him; he could not speak, but the radiant joy in his eyes reassured the Vulcan that he felt no pain. Spock gripped him tightly as he lowered his head to claim a slow, lingering kiss, then he began to thrust, gently at first, soon increasing to a swift, powerful rhythm that swept the Human along on an irresistible tide of sheer physical pleasure. Spock seemed untiring; the demanding, merciless thrusting continued until Kirk was sobbing helplessly, his body heaving and twisting beneath Spock's, each movement only adding to the impossible rapture. He was desperate for release, yet afraid of the ending of so much joy.

Their mental union grew closer and deeper; each aware of the sensations of the other, they adjusted their movements to increase their delight with a sureness no Human pair could experience. Kirk's hands clawed frantically at Spock's back, his body arched helplessly in response to each touch; his breathing grew harsher and more ragged, and he called Spock's name in urgent pleading, knowing that he could not continue much longer - he was already almost fainting. His hands moved to the Vulcan's hips, trying to draw Spock even deeper inside him, and the touch provided the final impulse. He felt the powerful, throbbing flood of ejaculation, then his mind was caught up in a whirlwind of emotion as their united minds and bodies soared into a timeless ecstasy. Clinging tightly together, Spock's lips on Kirk's, they allowed the gentle after-waves of feeling to carry them safely back to reality. Kirk found he was trembling from head to foot in the aftermath of that incredible experience, and he clung to Spock with utter trust, confident of the Vulcan's love; for in the mental unity they had shared at the moment of climax he had experienced fully Spock's total commitment to him.

This was so unlike any previous loving he had known; Spock cradled him close, whispering loving nonsense without any hesitation. He felt incredibly secure, safe and protected in the strong arms that held him so lovingly. He reached up a shaking hand to stroke the silky hair.

"Spock, that was... unbelievable," he murmured.

Spock brushed back Kirk's hair, pressed his lips to his damp forehead.

"Did I... please you, Jim?" he asked hesitantly.

Kirk laughed in delight. "Please me? Don't you know how much? But did I... was I... what you expected?"

"All, and more." Spock's lips brushed his eyes, his mouth settled hungrily on his throat. "I dreamed of you... so often... in my arms; but I could not guess... how wonderful it would be. I know so little... I have never... I have loved only you."

"I wish I could say the same." Kirk's voice was serious. "I've had so many women - I deluded myself into believing that I loved them, but I know now I didn't. I was like a greedy child, reaching for a bright toy - but I've grown up at last, Spock - for you. Don't ever let me go."

The Vulcan's arms tightened. "I could not, even if I would. The bond claims us now. Can you feel it, Jim, holding us together for all time? The galaxy might separate us, but we would still be together as close as though I held you as I do now."

Kirk stared up in wonder. "Yes, I can feel it. You're not holding the link, yet I know every thought in your mind."

Dazed by that discovery, Kirk lay silent for a long time, revelling in the experience as Spock's thoughts twined lovingly around his. Nothing could be hidden in that sharing; ancient hurts, that each had almost forgotten, were drawn out by the other, tended, and healed. Joys known as individuals were shyly offered, and shared, gaining a new intensity because in their oldest and most distant memories each now sensed the presence of the other.

It was a mental lovemaking, as real and pleasurable as the physical had been; and in the joy of that communion Kirk knew without regret that a Human lover would never satisfy him again.

As he lay enfolded in Spock's arms Kirk's longing for his lover began to build in him again, a fierce hunger coupled with the wish to give Spock the pleasure the Vulcan had given him.

"Spock!" he whispered urgently, pressing closer.

"I know, Jim," came the loving reply. "I too burn - for you."

Kirk rose to a sitting position, studying Spock's slender body carefully. He knew the caresses to arouse a woman, but it was the most important thing in life that his touch should now bring pleasure to Spock. Allowing instinct, and the knowledge of his own body, to guide him, he reached out and stroked his fingers across Spock's skin, gradually covering every inch of his body with the slow, gliding caress. Less inhibited than the Vulcan, more used to love-play, his lips followed his hands; Spock shivered at every touch of Kirk's mouth on his flesh.

Raising his head at last, Kirk studied the results of his attentions with satisfaction; Spock was writhing slowly under his hands; his breath hissed between lips drawn back in ecstasy; a fine sheen of sweat glistened on his skin.

The Vulcan's pleasure echoed in Kirk's mind, heightening his own delight almost unbearably. He cupped Spock's organ in gentle hands, marvelling as the delicate jade green deepened to emerald as the flesh stirred, responding to Kirk, then bent his head to press his lips to the pulsating organ, conscious only of his need to express his adoration of the body offered to him. Spock moaned softly, reached down to entwine his fingers in Kirk's hair, pressing him closer; and they lay enjoying the contact until Kirk's growing hunger aroused him to continue.

Taking his place between Spock's thighs Kirk leaned forward to kiss him tenderly before beginning his entry. It was not in the least like penetrating a woman, at once more difficult and more rewarding, for he was compelled to force an entry where none was intended; but the taut, throbbing flesh yielding before Kirk, the leaping nerves, the quivering muscles, fed his own excitement to a degree he had never imagined possible. He tried to go slowly, afraid of hurting Spock, remembering how only the Vulcan's mental control had soothed the pain for him; but his compulsive hunger drove him irresistibly into the Vulcan's eager flesh, until it seemed that he was drowning in a ring of fire that burned without pain. Again he felt the influence of the bond - he was at once Jim Kirk, plunging to the very centre of his lover's body, and Spock, twisting helplessly before that utter domination of his flesh.

For Kirk, it ended too swiftly; enjoying the total blending they shared he attempted to prolong his lovemaking, but his body's blind, hungry need would not be denied. He threw back his head in a convulsive movement as his orgasm shuddered through their joined bodies, Spock's wordless scream echoed in his ears, and he collapsed in exhaustion across Spock's chest. Strong arms enfolded him lovingly, warm lips were buried in his hair as they lay clinging together, drained and satiated for the moment. At last Kirk slid over to lie at Spock's side, settling himself carefully with his head on the Vulcan's shoulder, his lips pressed against his neck; he felt Spock's cheek rest against his hair, and wrapped contentedly in each other's arms, they slept.

***

Morning sunlight on his face awoke Kirk to the full memory of the previous night. Spock was already awake, leaning over to gaze anxiously into his eyes as though he was afraid that with morning the Human would regret...

Kirk smiled contentedly, reassuringly. "Spock, don't worry so," he murmured. "I love you."

Clinging to Spock's shoulders he reached up to kiss his lips, then lay back, pulling the dark head onto his chest. He felt almost idiotically happy, satisfied and complete as he had never been before. There was none of the usual feeling of separation from his lover that he had always known when passion was sated - Spock was as much a part of him now as he had been when they were fully joined. His fingers caressed the curve of a pointed ear.

"Happy?" he asked, the age-old question of lovers.

"Mmmm." Spock snuggled closer, turning his lips against Kirk's neck; the Human had quickly learned that the burning pressure gave him as much pleasure as it did Spock.

They remained silent for some minutes, until Spock sighed and pulled away; he sat up, leaning against the pillows, and studied Kirk with troubled eyes. The Human retuned his gaze anxiously.

"You don't... regret it, do you, Spock?" he asked.

At once an aura of love and reassurance enfolded his mind, and he relaxed in relief.

"No, Jim. I am so grateful... so happy. But now we must decide what we will do."

"Do?" Kirk frowned, puzzled.

Spock reached down to stroke his hair gently. "We share... the bonding. I know that you welcome it, as I do. I dreaded... being compelled to take a Vulcan wife, for my mind links with you taught me what the bonding could be with one I truly loved."

"It is marvellous, " Kirk whispered unsteadily. "Already it means so much to me - to know you so completely."

"And I have... this, too." Spock's hand traced the line of Kirk's hip. "I did not know that physical pleasure could be so wonderful; you have taught me to delight in feeling, as once I delighted in logic. But Jim... this glorious sharing... what will we make of it?"

"1 don't understand." Kirk sat up, meeting Spock's eyes, certain now that the Vulcan was indeed troubled.

"Our bonding is a wonder and a delight. Here, we are alone, we may enjoy it freely - but the Enterprise awaits us, and then what shall we do?"

"I hadn't thought of that," Kirk said slowly.

"We must, beloved. Now that I have known the joy of your love I could not bear to give it up; and yet... what will we become? We could attempt to be discreet... but I hate the thought of creeping stealthily to your bed, as though we were guilty or ashamed. In any case, our secret would soon be discovered in the small world of the ship... there would be gossip, perhaps hostility... I could not bear to see you shamed. Rather than harm you, I would leave you."

"No!" Kirk flung his arms around the Vulcan, holding him close. "You can't leave me - not now. I can face anything if you're beside me... I can't lose you, Spock. Is there nothing we can do?"

"There is a way, Jim, if you are willing. There will still be talk I cannot stop that - but we will be able to face it openly, honestly, without shame."

"You mean, we should declare ourselves lovers?" Kirk asked slowly. "Yes, I could do that... Our friends would understand, and anyone on the crew who didn't like it could transfer off. As for the talk - well, it would die down eventually."

"I would ask more of you, Jim." Spock touched Kirk's body gently.

"If... this... were all we shared, it would suffice to do as you suggest; but we speak now of the rest of our lives. The bond is so powerful we dare not risk being parted - it would hurt... so much. We must ensure that we are always together, and there is only one way."

"Tell me."

"Then... do you dare affirm our bonding publicly? Become my bondmate according to Vulcan law and tradition?"

"Is it possible? I thought Vulcan would forbid - "

"Spontaneous male bonding is not common, but it is not unknown. It is never entered into lightly, and so is held in the same honour as any other."

"But your family... surely they would disapprove?"

Surprisingly, Spock smiled. "T'Pau has learned that I am not fully Vulcan after all; she will respect my choice. As for Sarek... he will not be surprised. He already knows of my feeling for you."

"He knows?"

"It became necessary to tell him. Each time I returned to Vulcan he would produce a new candidate as my prospective wife - my constant refusals were a strain on us both. At last I was compelled to explain my reluctance."

"Wasn't he terribly angry?"

"Angry? No, he understood. My people know that it is useless to forbid what cannot be controlled, the spontaneous blending of two minds; for why, out of all the millions, any two people should be so drawn together, is a wonder that all our logic cannot explain - it can only be accepted. When I admitted my feeling for you Sarek knew that I could not bond with another. He was only afraid for my life at my next pon farr, for I had to tell him also that you did not know of my love; and we thought that if you learned of it you would turn from me in disgust. Now... " Spock's voice grew deeper, almost purring with content, "now I can tell him that you know, that you return my love, and that is... Jim, will you consent to a formal bonding?"

"Of course. I am... honoured... that you should think me worthy."

"I love you," Spock explained simply. "I think that I have always loved you, Jim, although I would not admit it for a long time; and when I did, I had to accept... that you were not for me. But it was - almost - enough that you trusted me... and I had my dreams... "

"Oh Spock!" Kirk lifted a hand to the Vulcan's cheek. "If only I hadn't been so blind! I've wasted so much time!"

"Not really. I would never have had the courage to tell you, for I dared not risk losing your friendship in my hunger for more. I bitterly regret that you had to learn... in such a way... but it gave you time to think, to consider your response calmly."

"Calmly? Oh, love, I was anything but calm! I was so afraid... then I thought of you, and knew that I returned your love, and that I must make the first move, for you never would. I knew something else, too." Kirk's voice faltered, then he continued more firmly. "Even if I hadn't been able to return your love fully, when I learned... how you felt... I would still have been willing to do... what was necessary... when the time came. But now... Oh Spock... I have you both as friend and lover. I don't know if I can be all a Vulcan would expect, but I'll try not to let you down."

Spock took Kirk's face tenderly between his hands. "Never change, Jim. Just be yourself - that is all I want, all I need."

Leaning forward he touched his lips to Kirk's in a kiss of pure love, and the Human responded to it gladly. Within them both passion still smouldered, but for the moment they were conscious only of the deep, unselfish love each felt for the other; and the certainty that that love was returned in full made them smile shyly, contentedly, at each other when they drew apart at last.

***

After breakfast they separated to busy themselves with routine tasks around the cabin. It was always their custom to do so on the first morning, attending to any repairs and maintenance that had arisen since their last visit, and despite their longing for each other's company, neither offered to break the habit now. Perhaps, thought Kirk, they both needed a little time alone to adjust to the emotional shock they had sustained.

As he worked Kirk's thoughts dwelt on the future, and the emotional commitment he had made to Spock. Deliberately, and with full awareness of what it would entail, he had chosen to acknowledge the Vulcan openly as his lover. It would remove the shadow of secrecy from their lives, would permit them to declare their pride in their love, but he could not help wondering how his crew would react.

Homosexuality was not unknown in Starfleet, but it was not yet fully tolerated by all - he knew they might have to face some hostility. Rather open condemnation than sniggering gossip, he thought - and anyway, he had faith in his crew. They were intelligent, compassionate men and women, they knew him, they knew Spock - he believed that they would understand and accept the situation. The fact of a formal ceremony might surprise them, but after all it was merely the public acknowledgement of an existing fact - his bonding to Spock.

The implications of that bond were far-reaching - even yet he did not fully understand it - but one thing he knew clearly; he and Spock could never be parted. However Starfleet Command might choose to view an open liaison between two officers, they would not dare trespass on the delicate ground of Vulcan custom by separating a formally bonded pair. And even death, so often the sword between lovers, had no power over them now, for if one died the other would swiftly follow. He scarcely knew which would have been worse - to go on alone after experiencing this miracle of belonging or the thought of Spock's desolation without him. Now the ever-present danger in their lives touched both equally; even Kirk's shorter life-span was no longer a threat - he knew that when his time came Spock would gladly go with him.

His musing was interrupted. Kirk started suddenly as arms slid around his waist, a warm mouth, so swiftly become familiar, nuzzled into his ear. With a sigh of pleasure Kirk relaxed, his hands rising to pull the dark head even closer.

Spock's hands, urgently seeking, slid over his body; inside his shirt, to squeeze his nipples; up to his throat, pulling his head back so that his lips were within reach; down the line of his hip to press insistently into his groin.

Deliberately Kirk arched backwards, feeling Spock's rising erection against his buttocks. He began to breathe hoarsely, suddenly aware of the irritating restriction of his clothing - his shirt rubbed annoyingly against his erect nipples, and his trousers impeded the eager swelling in his groin as his penis stirred in response to the warmth of Spock's hand. Panting with excitement he twisted round in Spock's arms until he could take the Vulcan's face between his hands; his lips parted in invitation, and Spock slid his tongue into Kirk's greedy, welcoming mouth. Kirk moaned deep in his throat as he sucked hungrily at the exploring tongue.

_Only a kiss,_ he thought,  _but if he keeps on like this, I'll... I've never been aroused to orgasm by a kiss before!_

With a supreme effort he broke the frantic embrace and they stared at each other, feeling the slow, delicious fires beginning to pulse steadily in their veins, knowing the ecstatic madness that would soon flow. With a sudden perverse impulse to prolong the anticipation, Kirk glanced at Spock, mischief dancing in his eyes.

"I feel like a swim," he announced, heading for the door, adding teasingly over his shoulder, "First one to the lake gets to... go first!"

As he ran down towards the lake Kirk wondered if Spock would accept the challenge - perhaps he was being childish? He had almost reached his goal when the Vulcan, running steadily, passed him and halted on the shore. Unable to check his pace, Kirk ran straight into the waiting arms.

"That's not fair," he mumbled when Spock raised his head at last to draw breath. "I meant... after our swim."

"Before... and after?" Spock suggested; and Kirk was well satisfied. The Vulcan was beginning to lose his shyness, and some hitherto untouched response in the Human thrilled to the gentle arrogance with which Spock mastered his body. The restricting clothes dropped unheeded, and Kirk sank down, drawing the Vulcan with him, unwilling to lose the lips that claimed his so eagerly. Spock's hands, more assured now, teased the glowing flames to a raging fire that threatened to consume ever fibre of his being. He sensed Spock's formidable strength held firmly in check, and felt a momentary impulse to resist, to provoke the Vulcan into taking him by force, but he suppressed the temptation - Spock had learned much, but he was not yet ready for such love-play. His joy at possessing Kirk at all was too new for him to endanger it, even by doing what it seemed the Human wanted.

_One day,_ Kirk promised himself, wondering how it would feel to be forcibly taken by Spock;  _one day, when he's confident, I'll tease him until I find out."_

For the moment, his lover's ardour was enough to satisfy anyone. Spock's total control of his body enabled Kirk to prolong the ecstasy of the joining for them both. Trembling helplessly beneath his lover, Kirk was certain that it was possible to die from too much pleasure as the relentless thrusting tore through his body. Spock's orgasm, when it came, left them too drained to do more than lie in each other's arms until their breathing gradually quietened and their hearts resumed a more normal rhythm.

At last Spock rose and pulled Kirk to his feet; they walked together into the water, allowing its cool embrace to wash the sand and semen from their bodies. Teasingly, Kirk splashed Spock, laughing delightedly at the Vulcan's assumed outrage. For his pains he was chased, swiftly caught, and punished with a kiss.

The contact of their naked bodies aroused Kirk's all-consuming hunger. He took the initiative, leading the Vulcan ashore to lie beside him on a soft bank of grass.

For Spock, the sudden change in attitude was delightful. The lips that moments ago had been soft, yielding, now took possession of his own with a gentle, imperious certainty; the body that had writhed so deliciously beneath his now imposed its own demands; with a sigh of contentment Spock relaxed, yielding to the other's greater experience.

As Kirk bent his head the Vulcan shivered in anticipation, knowing what would follow. The Human's mouth moved eagerly across his body, each kiss leaving a cool, moist imprint that seemed to sear its way into his flesh. Every nerve shook, tormented beyond endurance by the teasing progression. First, very gently, on his closed eyes; then across his cheek until the curve of his ear was caressed by a searching tongue; his lips - was it possible to faint at a kiss? Down to the sensitive area of his throat; sweeping across the planes of his chest, sucking gently at each nipple in turn; a path of cold fire traced across his stomach, his navel, and still lower, lingering over the delicate skin of his thighs.

Spock whimpered helplessly. Would Jim... ? He would die if he did; he would die if he did not...

Kirk glanced up quickly, flashed a wicked, teasing grin, and bent his head again. Spock screamed as the knowing lips pressed firmly against his aching penis; there was a swift movement and Kirk's mouth was again on his, while his fingers completed the reaction his kisses had set in motion.

Spock's excitement had inflamed Kirk to the point of desperation. His ravening hunger demanded immediate satisfaction, dominating Kirk to the exclusion of all else. He pulled Spock's legs apart impatiently and merged at once with his lover's welcoming body.

"Spock, I'm sorry," he whispered, unable to control the savage thrusting of his hips.

Spock's mind twined lovingly around his, reassuring him; the Vulcan was able to control his pain, just as the bond allowed him to soothe the pain of entry for Kirk - and, he added a little shyly, he was enjoying the intense sensations, had not believed himself capable of such sensuality. Thankful that his selfishness had not done any harm, Kirk swept relentlessly to his own climax; then, exhausted, utterly content, they lay quietly at last in each other's arms, lulled by the soft sound of the water.

***

The days and nights of the leave slipped slowly past in a strange, enchanted web of love and belonging. The ties that bound the two men, already strong, grew firmer and deeper, for now they were totally linked mentally and physically. Kirk, unused to the strange duality of the bonding, was sometimes not quite sure whether a passing thought was his own, or a reflection of Spock's. The Vulcan also was experiencing some difficulty, but knowing beforehand what the bond would mean he had anticipated it. Together they learned to handle the intricacies of this mental union, which was at once deeper, stronger, closer, than the mind links had ever been. Spock also began the difficult task of teaching the non-telepathic Kirk how to erect and maintain a thought-shield. It was the Vulcan nature to regard a bondmate with a certain degree of possessiveness, and he could not tolerate the idea of another touching his lover's mind. Kirk protested at first, but when he considered his own reaction to the idea of a stranger forcing contact with Spock, he understood how important it was to the Vulcan, and set himself to learn the necessary technique. The bond, of course, rendered any barrier between them useless, but they trusted each other enough to be sure that should one of them wish to guard his privacy for any reason, the setting of the screen would warn the other away.

There were many adjustments to be made, for neither had ever lived so closely with another before, and they were wise enough to know that small problems, if ignored, could eventually lead to friction. Neither wished to change the other in any way, and they learned to take delight in their differences as Kirk came to understand and share Spock's quiet, contemplative moods, while Spock slowly began to laugh with Kirk, sharing for the first time a purely Human joy in living.

Spock also learned that Kirk was distressed by his impatient nature; unused to the long, slow mating that Spock liked, his fiercely-aroused desires demanded swift satisfaction, and he was ashamed that his impassioned hunger and comparative lack of stamina seemed to deprive the Vulcan of his full share of pleasure. Spock comforted Kirk, assuring him that he found his violent lovemaking both exciting and satisfying, but sensing his continuing doubt he began to teach the Human to control his body in the Vulcan fashion, so that with practice he could postpone his climax until both were almost frantic with longing.

In turn Spock learned much from Kirk. As the Human had suspected, he had been completely innocent sexually, and the education he received at Kirk's hands was a revelation. Urged on by his lover's smiling encouragement he gradually lost his shyness, and explored Kirk's body with growing confidence. Knowing that his advances were welcome he grew more adventurous, his inventive mind sometimes even surprising the more experienced Human.

Each confessed to a favourite moment in their lovemaking. For Kirk it was the exciting, tormenting, seemingly endless time when he lay trembling beneath Spock's warm weight, responding to the gentle, pulsating rhythm of the organ buried deep inside him as they lay joined in mind and body just before the Vulcan began the slow powerful thrusting that led them both to the delirious insanity of orgasm.

For Spock it was the actual moment of climax when, helplessly impaled on Kirk's demanding body, all control failed, and he sobbed and shuddered in almost mindless delight at that demanding, ruthless invasion of his flesh.

Yet deep within their shared consciousness each knew that the sweetest moments came when they lay quietly in each other's arms, caressing lovingly, enjoying each other's kisses. The moments of passion were sheer intoxication, but this warm, gentle loving was the bedrock on which their lives were founded.

So the days passed in a timeless haze of love and delight, and their ending was not to be feared, for it would bring yet another wonder - the journey to Vulcan, and the formal affirmation of their bonding.

  


***

It was a few days before they were due to leave for Vulcan. Kirk was strolling beside the lake, waiting for Spock to join him, when he noticed a small clump of layta bushes beside the path. He did not care for the curiously bitter fruit himself, but he knew that Spock liked it, so he wandered over to investigate. It was early in the season, and only a few of the fruits were ripe; he gathered them, and drawing his knife sat down to pare away the hard outer shell, anticipating the Vulcan's pleasure in this small gift.

Spock, hurrying after Kirk, paused a few yards away, quite frankly enjoying the pleasure of watching his lover when he thought himself alone. How beautiful he was! Like sunlight, Spock thought, studying the rebellious hair that fell forward over his downbent, serious face as he concentrated on his task. The golden, glowing eyes were veiled, but Spock lingered over the smooth curve of the cheek, the sweeping line of the jaw, the column of his throat, noting how the tanned skin merged softly into the almost startling whiteness of his body. The careful, busy hands - and the unsuspected responses they could conjure from a body long trained to disregard physical sensation. How quickly this man had become the centre of his existence! His eyes rested on Kirk's lips, remembering their sweetness even as he shivered in anticipation of their touch on his mouth.

As he studied the intent figure all Spock's old doubts came flooding back. Surely this was merely another of those marvellous dreams from which he must soon awaken to cold reality? Was it really possible that so much love, so much joy, actually belonged to him now? Those eyes had haunted his dreams for so long he could scarcely remember a time when they did not; he had resigned himself to being content with Kirk's friendship, keeping his love as a carefully-hidden treasure to be dreamed over in secret, a Human weakness he should excise from his mind, but which he could not bear to lose.

He had been so sure it would always be so...

Then suddenly, too suddenly for his dazed mind to comprehend fully, it had changed. It seemed as though he had woken from a half-sleep to find that warm, exciting, delicious creature in his arms; his love returned, his adoration welcomed and accepted.

How was it possible? They were so different. Where Kirk was sunlight, he was night, the freezing, bitter night of Vulcan. Confined for so long in the harsh restraint of an alien tradition, unable to express clearly the emotions he did have; a clumsy, insensitive fool who had even had to be taught how to respond to the Human's advances. He might have a Human heart, but it was stifled by a Vulcan mind, enclosed in a Vulcan body, dark, alien, ugly beside Kirk's glowing radiance.

Yet the Human had chosen him; he had not been aroused by passion that first night, not until after he had declared his love. The uncertainty of Spock's thoughts reached Kirk and he looked up then, smiling in welcome; but his mental reply was serious, intent.

//Spock, don't think like that. Without you I was nothing - an emptyheaded, conceited fool who confused sex with love. You understand more about love now than I'll ever learn. I won't let you doubt yourself! It's I who should be grateful that you chose to love me - even if I don't understand why.//

//Perhaps we should not ask why,// came Spock's response. //Perhaps we should simply accept gratefully what is, without seeking for reasons. Even if we knew, it could not increase by a fraction the joy we give each other.//

//Then... how about giving me some, now?// Kirk asked practically, turning towards the Vulcan.

//Jim, don't move,!//

The warning cry from Spock's mind froze the Human into immobility as the Vulcan slipped carefully closer, his heart tight with fear. As Kirk turned he had seen clinging to his shoulder a small but deadly lizard-like creature whose bite was known to be fatal to Humans.

Even as he moved the keela prepared to strike, but Spock snatched it away just in time, crushing its head against a rock. In his haste he had misjudged his timing, however, and at the last moment it twisted in his grasp, sinking its teeth into his wrist even as it died. For an instant he stared stupidly at the tiny bite, then crumpled as the fast-acting poison hit him.

Kirk, realising what had happened, caught the Vulcan as he fell. Without pausing for thought he acted instinctively; with the knife he still held he slashed two deep cuts across the line of teeth-marks.

Emerald blood welled up with agonising slowness; Kirk bent his head, set his lips to the wound, and began to suck desperately, trying to draw out the poison before it spread too far. Turning his head he spat out a mouthful of blood, his mind registering the strange taste as he swallowed some, then he bent again to his task, thinking furiously.

_McCoy,_ he decided;  _I must get McCoy,_ and fumbled for his communicator, blessing the habit that had made him attach it to his belt.

After a moment the calm voice answered his frantic call. "McCoy here."

"Bones - get over here. Spock's been bitten by a keela."

"I'm on my way."

Kirk laid down the open communicator and gazed anxiously at Spock, wondering if he had acted quickly enough. The Vulcan was already unconscious, breathing harshly.

There was an antidote of sorts, Kirk remembered, but it had to be given quickly - would McCoy arrive in time? And would Spock's Vulcan blood render him more, or less, vulnerable to the poison?

It was impossible to think. His mind, closely linked to Spock's, could detect no trace of conscious thought - all Spock's energies were directed to fighting the poison.

Kirk held Spock closely, considering, with a grim satisfaction that at least he would not lose Spock - the bond would see to that. He kept his eyes fixed on the pale, sweating face, listened to the harsh breathing with painful concentration, trying to lend his own formidable will to aid his lover.

McCoy arrived more quickly than he had dared to hope, and wasted no time in asking questions; he turned at once to the fight for Spock's life - and for Kirk's, though he did not know it. The antidote was quickly injected, together with a heart stimulant - even the Vulcan's constitution would need help to combat the deadly keela venom.

At last McCoy sat back on his heels; he had done all he could, and must wait now to see if he had been in time. Free now to consider Kirk, he glanced over with a puzzled frown. He had often seen Kirk keeping vigil over an injured Spock, but there was a new, subtle air of tension about him now, a strange indefinable change in his attitude. He did not, as was usual, ply McCoy with questions as to Spock's condition, but seemed resigned to wait, his whole attention concentrated on the man he held so closely. Even McCoy's touch on his shoulder gained only his partial attention as he glanced up briefly.

"We'd better get him inside, Jim - he needs shelter, and warmth."

Kirk rose stiffly to his feet, lifting Spock. "What... what are his chances?" he asked at last.

McCoy shrugged helplessly. "Hard to tell. You gave him a good start by getting most of the poison out or he'd be dead already. I gave him a stiff shot of antidote, and his heart's strong... Trouble is, the poison hit him too quickly for the healing trance. I'm sorry, Jim... we'll just have to wait and see."

Kirk nodded absently, and began walking. When they reached the house he accepted McCoy's help in getting the Vulcan to bed, then drew up a chair and sat down immovably, carefully entwining his fingers in Spock's. McCoy's presence registered, but made little impression. It was as though his friend existed on the outside of a glass cage containing only himself and Spock - and the one desperate idea - Spock must live.

Whatever happened they would be together, for he would not survive the shock of Spock's death, but he wanted so much to go on living. His own blindness had condemned them both to so many lonely years - now that he could see clearly at last he wanted it to go on and on. Even now his body stirred as he gazed fixedly at Spock's lips, recalling their burning heat on his mouth, on his throat, their delicate touch on his most sensitive areas.

Spock had learned quickly how to please him...

Kirk swayed as the Vulcan's face blurred before his eyes for a moment, and he suddenly felt very ill. McCoy's concerned hands touched him, feeling his burning forehead, the damp sweat on his skin.

"Bones... I feel... terrible... " he managed to gasp.

"No wonder - you must have swallowed some of the poison when you sucked the bite clean. You're safe enough - it's only fatal if it gets into the bloodstream - but you'll feel unwell for a time. Why don't you go and lie down? I'll stay with Spock."

"No!" Kirk's fingers tightened determinedly. "I want to be here when he wakes up."

"You're as stubborn as he is!" McCoy grumbled. "All right, then - but at least lie down and get some rest."

Kirk nodded sleepily and moved onto the bed. McCoy pulled off his boots, and when he turned back Kirk was already asleep.

With a frown of concern McCoy studied the two sleeping faces. His early impression, of some unnamed difference in Kirk's attitude, was strongly reinforced. Kirk had turned onto his side so that his face rested against Spock's shoulder, and his arm lay across the Vulcan's chest, the fingers resting lightly on his neck.

McCoy's scanner chuckled reassuringly; Kirk's poison-induced fever was not serious, would soon pass, and the Vulcan seemed to be holding his own. Careful not to disturb the sleepers McCoy pulled the chair Kirk had vacated away from the bed and sat down thankfully; he was tired, having had little sleep the previous night. He allowed his eyes to close, knowing from experience that in this situation he would sleep very lightly - the slightest sound would awaken Kirk.

The disturbance, when it came, was indeed slight - only the faint rustle of bedclothes as Kirk sat up.

Kirk had wakened abruptly from a nightmare he could not remember to the hushed stillness of the room. He could not hear Spock's breathing, and leaned over him anxiously; under his fingers the pulse in the Vulcan's neck beat strongly, and although pale he was quietly relaxed. Even as he watched the long lashes stirred and lifted; the beautiful eyes, starlit dark velvet, opened and looked directly into his. Kirk touched a shaking hand to the Vulcan's cheek. "Oh, Spock - you're alive!" he whispered. Spock's lips parted to speak but Kirk, with a sudden overwhelming flood of tenderness, bent his head and kissed him.

McCoy stared, transfixed, wondering what would happen next, how Spock would react - Kirk must have lost his senses. Then to his utter amazement Spock's arms reached up to hold Kirk, drawing him closer; the long slim hand moved lingeringly, caressingly, across his back, the sure confidence of the touch betraying familiarity.

For a moment the doctor was convinced that he must be hallucinating - Spock in Kirk's arms, responding so eagerly to what was obviously a lover's kiss.

Then Spock's lips slid to the Human's throat, and Kirk's whimper of pleasure startled McCoy into a sudden betraying movement. Their heads turned, and two pairs of eyes held his confused gaze, Spock's dark pools of contentment, Kirk's glowing like liquid gold, aflame with an almost unbearable joy. He noticed that even in this moment of discovery they did not spring guiltily apart, but rather pressed closer together, as though drawn by some irresistible force.

"I'm sorry, Spock," Kirk said ruefully. "I was so happy you were alive, I forgot McCoy was here."

"It does not matter, Jim. We would have had to tell him soon in any case, since you wish him to stand with you at the bonding."

"That's true. Bones, close your mouth - you'll catch flies gaping like that!" Kirk laughed, teasingly.

As the still stunned McCoy obeyed, Kirk and Spock moved to sit on the edge of the bed, facing him levelly. With a tremendous effort he pulled himself together, helped by the open amusement in Kirk's eyes, the more subtle softness in Spock's. The moment could have been embarrassing, but somehow, thanks to their completely natural reaction to his discovery, it was not.

Slowly the amusement faded from Kirk's face, leaving it intent, serious. Leaning forward he said quietly, "Bones, Spock and I are lovers - more than that, we are bondmates." He turned, smiled briefly, lovingly, at the Vulcan, then continued, "I'm not ashamed of it; I won't apologise or explain. It happened, and for the first time in my life I know what it means to love and be loved by someone who is perfectly matched to me." He paused, flung back his head proudly, and said challengingly, "Will you... wish us well, Bones?"

McCoy studied the two faces before him. They hoped for his approval, but secure in their love they would not beg for it. Leaning forward he held out a hand to each.

"Bless you both," he said sincerely. "I wish you every happiness - but from the look of you, I think you've found it already. What do you mean, 'bondmates'?" he continued with irrepressible curiosity.

Kirk smiled again, very tenderly. "It's not just the physical side, Bones, although that is... rather wonderful. We love each other - we are bonded, joined through life and beyond death. We have agreed to affirm the bonding formally; will you stand with me?"

"What!" McCoy exclaimed. "You mean you have to go through that challenge ritual all over again? Jim, you can't! You'll never be able to face a Vulcan in open combat - and that tri-ox trick won't work a second time."

"No, you don't understand - it's not like that at all." Kirk glanced at Spock, received tacit permission to explain. "The Challenge only comes in when a couple bonded as children are to be joined - it's the woman's only chance to stop the marriage, as T'Pring did when Spock... "

McCoy nodded understanding, and Kirk continued. "In our case, Spock and I are both adults, freely consenting to the bonding. We will simply declare our commitment to each other before witnesses."

"In effect, a Vulcan marriage," Spock's deep voice broke in. "Because male bonding can occur, logically it is necessary that it be recognised. The ceremony will not add to, or detract from, the reality of the bonding, but legally it will bind us together in a fashion not all the power of Starfleet can break."

"You see, we don't intend to hide it," Kirk said. "Starfleet already accepts that Vulcan bondmates cannot be parted - though I shouldn't think they ever expected anything like this."

"Well, you've certainly got the courage of your convictions," McCoy said slowly. "I'll be proud to stand as your witness, Jim; but are you quite sure you know what you're getting into?"

"Oh yes." Kirk smiled happily. "Spock says his family will accept me; the crew - I'm sure they'll understand, as you do, and any who don't will have the chance to transfer off. As for my own family... I've written to them, but there's been no reply yet." He frowned for a moment. "They may object, I suppose, but that doesn't matter - they can't stop me."

McCoy noted with concern the increasing huskiness of Kirk's voice, the still-clammy pallor of Spock's skin, and professional concern replaced friendly curiosity; both men were still suffering from the effects of the poison, he remembered, and stood up briskly.

"If you're planning to go jaunting off to Vulcan, you'd better get over this first," he said. "I'm not going to let you travel in this state. You're going to bed - separately - and you're staying there until I tell you you can get up. Otherwise - no Vulcan."

"Bones, you're bullying us again," Kirk grumbled affectionately.

***

Kirk sighed, stretched, came fully awake, and for a moment wondered where he was. The furnishings of the room, the colour of the sunlight streaming in through the unshaded window, the heat, already intense at this early hour, were unmistakable. He was on Vulcan, sleeping for the last time in the guest quarters of Spock's home; and it was... his wedding day, he thought with faint astonishment.

Strange, how none of the traditional words seemed to fit. 'Wedding'... 'marriage'... It was both - and more; for today, with the full sanction of Vulcan law and custom, he would take Spock as his... what?

Husband? Wife? No, for both words implied that one of them was a passive, submissive partner, but they knew themselves to be truly equal. Partner, then? Surely too cold a word for the warm, loving, passionate relationship they shared. No, only the Vulcan word would do, and he whispered it aloud. "Bondmate." For that was what they were, bonded mentally in a way no two Humans would ever know, and their physical mating was an ecstatic, joyous wonder.

Kirk settled deeper into the pillows, longing for the grip of warm, strong arms to snuggle into, feeling lonely without Spock's presence at his side.

The Vulcan had retired early the previous evening. Drawing Kirk aside he had explained that as custom required, he would pass the night alone in meditation; he would not see his lover again until the ceremony. Kirk had resigned himself to the custom, but he had been disappointed - he had seen the hunger in Spock's eyes, and it had lit sweet fires in his blood. "Tomorrow?" he had whispered, and heard with satisfaction the anticipation in Spock's voice as he replied, "Tomorrow."

Remembering the previous evening, Kirk's sense of security, of belonging, increased. He and McCoy had dined with Sarek and Amanda; as usual there had been no conversation during the meal, but later Sarek had summoned him to his study.

Kirk had entered shyly, a little hesitant; Sarek might approve of Kirk as the Captain of the Enterprise but despite Spock's reassurances Kirk wondered how he would react to being suddenly confronted with his son's lover.

They sat, and Sarek began to speak at once. "James, I understand that you are still uncertain as to my approval of this bonding. Do not be - I welcome it. As you know, some years ago I disputed the wisdom of Spock's choice, and I do not make the same mistake twice. It is... " he hesitated. "It is... very difficult... for me to speak of such personal matters, but it is important that you understand my attitude. Spock has chosen you, and I commend his decision. You will not, I think, disgrace him, and his Human nature demands more... affection... than a Vulcan wife could give. Nor will this bonding arouse any disapproval here - on Vulcan spontaneous male bonding is not unknown, and as I believe Spock has explained, we hold it in the same honour as any other. My son is... very precious to me, and I know that you have brought him great happiness. I wish you well, James Kirk - and I bid you welcome to my home, and my family."

They rose, Sarek extended his hand and touched Kirk's fingers in the gesture used only within the family.

Kirk smiled. "I've never pretended to have Vulcan control, Sarek, and right now I feel very emotional. I'm glad to have your approval - for my own sake as well as Spock's - and I promise you, I'll justify your faith in me. I know I have a lot to learn, but I can do it - you see, I love him," Kirk finished simply.

Sarek had nodded in approval, and they had rejoined Amanda and McCoy. The conversation had been general, and soon afterwards they had all retired for the night.

Kirk had paced his room restlessly, waiting for the visitor he was sure would come. Moving onto the terrace, he gazed out across the starlit gardens, wondering where Spock was, what he was doing. The longing to see him was almost a physical ache.

A light tap on the door sent Kirk back inside. "Come in," he invited.

Amanda entered, as he had expected, crossing the room to stand facing Kirk. She was as tall as he, and met his eyes levelly. "You love him, don't you?" she asked, and saw with relief the glow in his eyes as he replied, "So very much."

"Then - make him happy, Jim. He needs to be loved. When he was a child I had to try so hard to conform to Vulcan custom I couldn't relax enough to show him the affection he needed. But I saw his eyes tonight... You'll be good for him, but be careful; he is... easily hurt, for all his Vulcan control."

"I know. The only thing I can say, Amanda, is that I'll try to make him as happy as he's made me."

"i believe you will succeed - he has given you his heart. But remember, Jim, though he may show you his Human side he is still half Vulcan, and they are very possessive of their mates. I don't want to insult you, but you must admit you haven't exactly lived like a nun all these years - you'll have to accept that if the bonding is true you are committed only to him for the rest of your life."

"It is a true bonding, Amanda," Kirk said earnestly. "I know I don't have his... innocence, and I truly regret it; but that part of my life is over - I belong to him now, and he to me... and that is all I want or need."

"I'm glad. Be happy, Jim." Leaning forward, Amanda kissed Kirk on the cheek. He held her for a moment, Spock's mother, and because of that dear to Kirk too, now. He felt an urge to return her kiss, but hesitated; somehow, perhaps in atonement for all those casual affairs he had known, he felt that his kisses belonged only to Spock now.

Amanda understood his hesitation, and smiled. "You're learning, Jim. Only... don't take it too far, will you? He won't expect - or want - you to change. Good night."

Now, thinking of Spock's parents, remembering their warm acceptance of him, Kirk understood that he had found a home at last, and sighed contentedly. Impatient for the day to begin, he sprang out of bed, and headed for the shower, singing so loudly that McCoy, entering when his knock went unanswered, smiled at the happiness in his voice.

Soon afterwards Kirk appeared, wrestling with the collar of his dress uniform. He was glad of McCoy's presence, for he did not underestimate the importance of the vows he was about to make; and despite his complete trust in Spock he was just a little nervous.

Sensing this, McCoy set himself to divert his friend; Kirk was soon laughing again, and in a more relaxed frame of mind he went down to breakfast.

***

Standing at McCoy's side in the full glare of the Vulcan suns, Kirk felt acutely uncomfortable. The weathered stones of the ancient ground of challenge and marriage seemed to pour out an ever-increasing heat. He wanted to lick his lips, ease the restriction of his collar, wipe his sweating hands; but as the focus of so many pairs of impassive Vulcan eyes he forced himself to stand tranquilly.

Only his eyes moved, studying with interest those who had come to witness his bonding with Spock. At his shoulder McCoy, silently supportive. To his left Sarek and Amanda, their eyes warm, encouraging, although their faces betrayed no expression. He himself was the object of much interest, could almost sense the speculation in the minds of the other guests he did not know - Spock's bondmate, Human and male... an unlikely combination, but then Spock could always be trusted to do the unexpected.

Ahead - Kirk swallowed nervously, forced his face into an impassive mask - ahead sat T'Pau, wrapped in cold, aloof dignity, making Kirk feel, as always, like some grubby-faced small boy caught stealing the jam.

To distract himself he studied the arena in which he stood, remembering the last time he had seen it. Then he had faced a Spock who, crazed by the blood-fever, had tried quite seriously to kill him... and would have done so, but for McCoy.

One day he would face that Spock again, would see the burning eyes fixed on his. Those clutching hands would reach for Kirk again, seeking, not his life this time, but his body, to quench the raging fever that was pon farr. To his surprise the thought no longer frightened him; his body had by now learned to adapt to being possessed, and the thought of Spock's full strength unleashed to enforce his submission seemed... exciting.

Then came a warm touch on his mind and he looked up to watch Spock's arrival. His heart twisted crazily as he met those dark eyes, and, shy suddenly, he dropped his gaze as Spock halted before him and extended his hand. Kirk touched his fingers in the ritual gesture, and together they moved forward to stand before the impressive figure of T'Pau.

The ceremony was never to be forgotten. It was, unexpectedly, brief and very simple.

Spock's voice, calm, serene, declaring in formal words his consent to the bonding.

His own reply, slightly hesitant, but ringing with confidence.

T'Pau's eyes, impossibly softening for an instant as she rose to confirm her witnessing of the compact.

Bones - dear Bones - his voice low, serious, as he witnessed for Kirk.

Spock's touch, turning Kirk, raising his head so that their eyes met.

The overwhelming joy that flooded through their linked minds, an emotion so intense that its echoes reached the silent audience, and their response startled and warmed Kirk. Vulcans did know and understand emotion; otherwise, what need for such rigid control? Linked to Spock the Human experienced for the first time the mental communication from others.

There was no disapproval - even T'Pau, at her most impassive, transmitted good wishes; he felt Sarek's pride, Amanda's heartfelt relief - even, from a group of Spock's friends, a faint touch of envy. He coloured faintly, realising that he had been accepted into their world, despite his Human emotionalism; accepted and - yes - loved, as he had never quite been, even by his own family.

Spock's touch on his hand recalled Kirk to the ceremony, and the symbolic ritual of their joining. Two of T'Pau's attendants approached, one carrying a closed casket, the other some kind of tool. They halted; the box was opened, and presented first to Spock, then to Kirk, for their inspection and approval.

It contained two fine, delicate chains of gold mingled with an alloy that made it almost impossible to cut. Slender as a thread of gossamer, yet stronger than most metals, each chain had been precisely tailored to fit its wearer, for once in place and the links sealed, it could not easily be removed.

The chains were the symbol of their bonding, that no exterior force could disrupt; timeless, excluding all others, endless as the circle itself, an ever present reminder that each was bound to the other so closely, so completely, that not even death could part them.

Recalling Spock's instructions, Kirk slipped to his knees, watching as the long, slim fingers lifted the delicate chain and passed it around his neck; it fitted snugly, so that he was aware of its presence - again a symbol that the bonding was not some light, casual encounter, but a deep, total commitment. He shivered as Spock's fingers brushed the back of his neck, heard the faint hiss as the links were welded together, and looked up, trying to convey his realisation that now he belonged utterly to the Vulcan, and his joyful acceptance of that fact. Spock's expression did not change, but his eyes smiled; he held out his hands, helped Kirk to his feet, and for a moment they stood gazing into each other’s eyes.

Then with a swift, graceful movement Spock knelt in turn, and Kirk studied the dark head lovingly. Despite the solemn formality of the occasion he could not resist one small, very Human gesture of affection; his hand reached out and stroked the soft hair.

The attendant moved at his side, offering the casket; the chain felt cool in his fingers, but it would quickly draw heat from Spock's skin. His hands were steady as he positioned the chain and sealed it, but he trembled inside, overwhelmed by his love for the man at his feet. Then, reaching out, he helped Spock to rise, and they turned to face the witnesses.

Behind them T'Pau spoke commandingly. "James Kirk, bonded and bound thee are, by Vulcan law and ancient tradition, to this man alone; thy life and his are one until death; thee will walk the same path, undivided. To him alone thy vows are made.

"Spock, bonded and bound thee are, to one not of our blood. Thee has chosen Kirk, yet remember - Human he is, not Vulcan; and bonded so, thy life ends with his. To him alone thy vows are made.

"Speak now, mind to mind, heart to heart; for the tongue may lie, but in the deeper communion can be only truth."

As the grave voice fell silent Kirk and Spock turned yet again to stand facing each other, their eyes locked. Spock extended cupped hands, and Kirk placed his own within them, feeling the warm, dry fingers enclose his.

He waited for a moment to calm his racing heart, for he wished to formulate the ancient vow with all the solemnity he felt.

It was never spoken aloud, for to the reserved Vulcans, such a depth of commitment should be made directly to the mind of the bondmate, not recited aloud for all to hear.

//Spock, I take you as my bondmate, understanding all that is entailed. In danger I will defend you, and I will hold your honour dearer than my own. For no other will I turn aside from the path you appoint for me, and I hold my mind and body in trust for you. I rejoice in the bonding, and in you, now mated to me in the eyes of all Vulcan.//

He felt the glad acceptance in Spock's mind. It was strange, he thought, for the formal thought-patterns only set the seal on an already existing knowledge, just as the ceremony itself was merely the public affirmation of a personal commitment; yet at that moment he felt the bond draw tighter, settling immovably into place within his mind.

Spock's hands now lay in his; the Vulcan was in turn mentally repeating the bonding vow, and Kirk began to understand, very dimly, how the bond worked. So closely, so deeply, were their minds now linked that the severance of the bond would actually tear the mind of the survivor apart. No intelligent being could live so stricken - there was no escape from the welcome prison of the bonding.

Spock's hands now slipped from his and they stood apart, yet together. Now Kirk could understand by experience just what those strange, puzzling Vulcan words had meant. "Never and always touching and touched." Three feet of hot, dry Vulcan air was between them, yet he was as close as though he lay in Spock's arms.

Again came T'Pau's voice, clear, commanding. "The bonding is declared between James Kirk and Spock of Vulcan. Let all acknowledge, none deny. It is done."

At the conclusion of the ceremony, as Kirk and Spock left the arena, Kirk stumbled slightly - only Spock noticed, and lent unobtrusive support. The relief of tension, the intense heat, and the thin dry Vulcan air had combined to tire Kirk. With relief he settled into the pressurised coolness of the aircar - Spock had foreseen this reaction, and had prepared for it.

Reviving quickly in the shade, Kirk sat up and looked around ·with interest. They were flying low over the desert, heading back to Spock's home. Spock himself sat at the controls; feeling Kirk's eyes he turned, one eyebrow raised enquiringly.

"How do you feel?"

"Better, thanks. Spock... I can hardly believe it... all that acceptance and love I felt back there - more than I've ever known before; and I had to come to an alien planet to find it. Why, Spock?"

"Because you are... as you are. It is a common misconception that Vulcans do not have emotion; we do - it is merely that we control it, instead of allowing it to control us. A telepathic race is very sensitive to strong emotions broadcast by others ; they felt and understood your... love for me. Beloved, you are given love because you give it."

"Oh," Kirk said quietly. He suspected that from now on he was going to learn far more about Vulcans than most Humans did. However, for the moment he could concentrate on only one Vulcan - his bondmate. He reached out, his hand was caught and held firmly. Kirk sighed happily and turned his attention to the harsh beauty of the desert passing beneath him. Spock kept his attention severely on his task, flying as competently with one hand as he did with two, ever alert to the treacherous air currents that rose above the desert; but the Human half of his mind was very much aware of the hand that clasped his so tightly.

It was only when the car came to rest and they disembarked that Kirk realised that they were alone. "Where is everybody?" he asked, scanning the empty sky with puzzled eyes.

"Such naivety from you, Jim? We are a newly-bonded pair, alone for the first time after making the vow of commitment - or do you want an audience now too?"

Kirk flushed scarlet, understanding Spock's meaning, but he was pleased - Spock had learned much, to joke on such a delicate subject. He grinned. "You mean we'll be on our own?"

"Until we ourselves express a wish for company. My parents are with friends, no-one will visit or contact us... we are completely alone."

"So we don't need to worry," Kirk said with satisfaction. "We can be as lovingly foolish as we like - starting now."

Moving closer he slipped an arm around Spock's waist, felt the Vulcan's arm encircle his shoulders. So joined, they walked into the house.

***

The afternoon passed slowly, but peacefully. They looked at each other, knowing the hunger that was building between them, but by common consent they chose to delay its satisfaction until evening, enjoying the anticipation. Spock took Kirk on a tour of the house, showing Kirk rooms he had never seen, explaining the family history and tradition - matters he should know, for he was a part of that circle now, had his own place in the life of Vulcan.

In the cool of the evening they went outside, to explore the extensive and beautiful gardens, watching the magnificent sunset, the gradual emergence of the starlit night sky of Vulcan; then, as the chill deepened, they returned inside, walking hand in hand up the stone staircase to the suite of rooms that formed Spock's private apartments.

Kirk headed straight for the shower, thankfully stripping off his dress uniform, enjoying the relaxing sensation of the water against his skin.

Refreshed, he came out, eyed the discarded unform with dislike - he wasn't putting it on again - and looked around for something to wear; he felt, oddly, a little shy about appearing naked in front of his lover. A short robe hung by the shower and he pulled it on; the fine silky material clung closely, outlining his body in detail. It looked rather suggestive, he thought, smiling at himself in the mirror, eager to confront Spock with this seductive image.

Emerging at last he found himself alone in the bedroom, and he explored curiously. After a few moments, however, the waiting became oppressive; the bed seemed to dominate the room, and his stomach churned in anticipation.

Wondering impatiently where Spock could be, he looked out onto the terrace; Spock was there, leaning against the railing. He turned at Kirk's approach, extending his arm to draw the Human close; beneath a heavy cloak he was naked, and as Kirk pressed against him the enshrouding fold enveloped them both.

"Look, Jim." Spock indicated the night sky, and Kirk gazed upwards, catching his breath in delight. Undimmed by moonlight the stars of Vulcan blazed with cold fire, a soft clear silver light, more beautiful than any sky he had ever seen; Spock's hands turned him, pointing out a very faint dim star on the horizon, a barely-seen speck in contrast to the fiery grandeur arched above.

"To me, the most precious sight on Vulcan, save the one I behold now." Spock's voice came in a husky whisper as his eyes rested on Kirk's face. "Your star and mine, the sun we both share, the Sun of Earth, as you are a Son of Earth, beloved. How dim it seems from here, how gloriously bright from Earth. So were you to me - so faint, so distant when first we met, yet your warmth even then thawed the ice that trapped my heart. Now... so close... your beauty blinds me, burns me, gives me life."

Kirk settled closer. "Night is beautiful too," he murmured. "Dark, soft, lit with stars... a secret, exquisite delight... and only I can see the wonder hidden there."

They clung together, lips seeking, meeting, locked together. Beneath the cloak Spock's hands moved, touching Kirk's body through the thin silk; the heat of his skin warmed the Human, who moaned softly as Spock parted the robe and slid his fingers between his thighs. Responding to the intimate caress he moved to allow the exploring hand greater freedom, then was swung off his feet as Spock lifted him effortlessly and carried him inside to lay him on the bed.

Freed from the concealing folds of the cloak the disorder of the thin robe was evident; Kirk coloured at the picture he saw of himself in Spock's mind as he lay where the Vulcan had placed him, but he delighted in the pleasure that picture gave to Spock.

After a few moments Spock reached out and removed the robe. "I scarcely think this serves any useful purpose," he remarked, tossing it onto the discarded cloak. He continued, "I observed, Jim, that you were not paying attention when I arrived for the ceremony; your mind, I think, was wandering."

"Yes," Kirk replied honestly. "I was wondering... "

"You were wondering how it would feel if I used you in the Vulcan fashion. You imagined yourself totally in my power, forced to submit to whatever I chose to do to you. It occurs to me, Jim, that I can best... punish... your lack of attention by gratifying your curiosity."

He reached out, drawing Kirk hard against him. His lips, firm, possessive, parted Kirk's, his tongue exploring the Human's mouth. Imprisoned by those strong arms Kirk lay helplessly, unable to move. Spock's hands ranged over his body with a freedom he had never employed before. The Human's mind was taken, used to ease Spock's way as he was compelled to turn and move obediently in response to the Vulcan's thoughts, helpless to refuse even if he had wished to do so.

The caresses continued until Kirk was twisting and sobbing on the bed, a mindless, panting creature knowing only a raging desire, for Spock would not permit him to climax. Again and again he coaxed the Human almost to the brink, then that mental control crashed down and Kirk was left sobbing in frustration. Kirk arched and trembled, pulled pleadingly at Spock, begged to be taken, to be freed from this unbearable weight of ecstasy; but Spock only laughed and continued, enjoying Kirk's frenzied hunger. At last he paused,looking down at Kirk. The Human lay across his arm, shivering, soaked in sweat, his hair tumbled, his eyes pleading abjectly for release; beneath the pale skin every nerve, every muscle quivered in torment, but he lay obediently, awaiting Spock's pleasure.

Smiling very tenderly Spock bent his head and kissed him, then bent the Human's legs back and began to enter him. Fully inserted, he paused again and looked down; Kirk was squirming against his impaling organ, frantically trying to bring himself to orgasm since Spock would not, sobbing again as he felt the mental prohibition.

Beautiful, sensual... and completely his. Without warning Spock thrust deeply into the writhing body, releasing his control of Kirk at the precise moment of his own orgasm. The Human's body convulsed frantically; he clung to Spock, shuddering, gasping for breath, certain that this time he really was dying of too much pleasure. Spock remained within him, moving gently, aware that one climax would not be enough - the Human's pent-up frustration demanded more.

Gradually Kirk's breathing steadied; Spock thrust again, and the harsh gasping resumed, tearing Kirk’s throat. His whole body was aflame, a raging, devouring fire that only the Vulcan could quench. Wrapping his legs around Spock's hips Kirk pulled himself closer, feeling as though the invasion would tear him apart, yet revelling in his domination. He clung pleadingly to his lover, whispering hoarsely, begging for more. Spock's movements quickened, and Kirk's moan of delight echoed his as their joint orgasm released them both. Gently Spock cradled Kirk in his arms, holding him close as the shivering slowly subsided, then laid Kirk back on the pillows and leaned over to stroke his hair.

At last Kirk was able to move. He leaned up on one elbow and looked down at himself, lightly touching his own still quivering flesh; he was covered in a fine sheen of sweat, his thighs and belly were streaked with semen, and he was utterly content.

"Spock... " he murmured, glancing enticingly at the Vulcan through lowered lashes. "Spock, will you... punish me... like that again - soon?"

Spock laughed in delight and stroked Kirk's thigh; indicating the evidence of their passion, he remarked, "If it were still required, we could provide the necessary proof of our relationship."

"Proof?" Kirk asked, puzzled.

"In ancient times it was customary to prove that a marriage - even a male marriage such as ours - had been consummated. I believe the custom was not unknown on Earth. At this point witnesses would be called in to examine the mated pair. You... " his hand stroked again, "you would provide certain proof, looking as you do now."

Kirk blushed furiously. "You'd let others see me like this?"

"No!" Spock's hand tightened. "You are mine, your body is for my eyes only to enjoy. You will find, Jim, that I am... very possessive."

"That's good - so am I." Kirk rubbed his cheek against Spock's shoulder. "I'd be sick with jealousy if you ever looked at anyone else. Juvenile, isn't it? But I can't help it."

Spock leaned forward and they kissed; when they drew apart Kirk looked down at his body again, and grimaced ruefully.

"I'm a mess!"

"I, too." Spock nodded agreement, and rose from the bed; picking Kirk up he carried him, protesting, into the shower.

The warmth of the water, Spock's gentle hands tending him, were very soothing; Kirk's eyes were closing wearily as Spock carried him back to bed.

"I'm so tired," he murmured as Spock settled close.

"Rest, Jim. You are not used to our climate, and you have had a very tiring day... and night," Spock teased.

Already half asleep, Kirk opened one eye. "I'll have my revenge... in the morning," he promised drowsily.

Spock smiled again, lifted Kirk's head to his shoulder, and very gently kissed his closed eyes before settling down to sleep.

***

Dawn found Kirk already awake. He had not yet moved, but lay as he had slept, his head pillowed on Spock's shoulder, one hand resting between the Vulcan's thighs. He shifted his head to study Spock's sleeping face, wondering how to keep the promise he had made the night before. Useless to try the same trick - he knew he possessed neither the control nor the stamina. He could delay his orgasm longer than most Humans now, but once within his lover's body his control was limited. He wanted, desperately, to drive Spock to the same frenzy he had endured, but could not quite see how he would do it.

The alien warmth in his hand gave Kirk the beginnings of an idea. It was the one thing he had not yet tried, being unsure how the Vulcan would react... but it was, indeed, enjoyable... and after last night... yes, he would try it!

Stealthily, not wanting Spock to awaken too soon, he removed his hand and slid down the bed.

***

Spock awoke to the most incredible sensations coursing through his body. For a moment he lay unable to move, wondering what was happening to him. Jim, of course... but what was he doing?

Cautiously he opened his eyes and looked down; from where he lay across Spock's legs Kirk raised his head, gave a wicked grin, and bent again to his task, his cool tongue busy.

Spock shuddered; this... was impossible! His body heaved convulsively, but Kirk's weight across his legs, the strong hands gripping his hips, held him firmly in place. It seemed as though his body was divided in two, his lower half fixed, immovable, totally at Kirk's mercy, while his head, arms and upper body thrashed and twisted as though he was demented. Sweat drenched his skin, and a high, thin moaning broke from his lips. This was Kirk's revenge! The Human was using the same tactics he himself had used the previous night, prolonging the exquisite torment until the Vulcan was certain he must go mad.

Kirk was enjoying himself, pleased that he could, after all, prolong Spock's pleasure. His lips and tongue moved easily over the quivering flesh he held in cupped hands. So warm, so smooth, the delicate green skin had the texture of finest silk, a rich, spicy taste that would never cloy. With exquisite care his lips moved over the surface, his tongue licking, circling. Gently, so very gently - the boundary between pain and pleasure was very narrow here. A slow, gliding caress the full length of the throbbing flesh and his lips parted, encircling, inching delicately upwards. So big!

He had not completely realised that, for Spock's control of his mind had soothed the pain of penetration until his muscles could adapt to the insertion. Now he was in control... no pain... pleasure only, for him and for Spock... Soft hair brushed his lips and he paused, waiting, listening to Spock's hoarse, breathless screams.

The Vulcan's hips surged under Kirk and he began to suck, pulling the Vulcan still deeper into his mouth. Spock was shuddering from head to foot, frantic, helpless to do anything other than respond to that unimaginable pleasure. His hands reached down, his fingers entwining in Kirk's hair, pressing Kirk closer as he sought more and more of that delicious cool sucking...

Then the galaxy exploded into a torrent of fiery stars, burning, blending, rushing headlong to the creation of a new and wondrous glory. There was a slither of movement, and he was in Kirk's arms, cradled against his chest.

"Quits?" came Kirk's teasing, laughing voice.

"Quits," he agreed, laughing in turn at the curious word. After a moment he turned his head. "Clearly, I shall have to punish you again - and soon," he observed. "Your revenge is so... delightful."

"In that case," Kirk remarked solemnly, "I'd better start thinking what I can do to give you reason, hadn't I?"

***

The last days of their leave slipped past, each a shining memory like jewels on a chain. Kirk began to count the days, hours, minutes jealously, aware that he had never been so reluctant to return to the Enterprise. He would still have Spock, of course, but no longer would they be able to concentrate exclusively on each other. Well, there would be other leaves...

***

One morning Kirk awoke early. Dawn was just breaking, and he felt a longing to go out into the gardens before the heat of the sun burned the freshness from the air. Leaving Spock sleeping peacefully he rose and dressed then went outside.

For a time he wandered aimlessly, enjoying the peaceful, sweet-scented coolness, then he became aware of the sound of an engine overhead, and looked up to see an aircar flying low towards the house, with the obvious intention of landing. Kirk frowned in annoyance, wondering who it could be; no Vulcan would have intruded uninvited, and McCoy would have contacted Kirk by communicator if he was needed on the ship. He supposed he had better investigate, and with a sigh of resignation headed towards the landing area.

The passengers were just getting out as he arrived, two Human men and a woman; the Vulcan pilot remained in his seat, ready for the return flight. As he drew nearer Kirk recognised the visitors as his cousins Richard and Robert, with Robert's wife Judith.

He hesitated for a moment; as a child he had been very friendly with his cousins, but his career had interrupted the friendship, and he had seen little of them in recent years, though he knew from his mother's letters that both had followed their father, his Uncle David, into politics. He was a little nervous, for they must have heard of his bonding, and he had as yet received no reaction from his family.

Then Judith turned and saw him. "Jim!" she exclaimed delightedly, and ran forward to greet him. Richard and Robert followed her, grinning with pleasure, and Kirk was caught up in a whirl of greetings.  _Perhaps it‘s going to be all right after all,_ he thought with relief as he led the way into the house and brought refreshments, for, unused to the Vulcan climate, he could see that his cousins found even this early hour to be uncomfortably hot.

While they exchanged information about friends and relatives Kirk did not notice that Richard's face was becoming stern and disapproving, but when the first rush of conversation was over, he became aware of an air of tension. The three visitors exchanged glances, then Richard set down his glass and turned to Kirk.

"Jim, it's no use beating about the bush - you know why we're here."

Kirk nodded slowly; he had been right, this was going to be difficult. "You've heard about my bonding," he said. "I take it you don't approve?

"Approve? Good lord, Jim, did you expect us to? What the hell made you do such a stupid thing?"

"I'll try to explain," Kirk said quietly, "but I don't know if you can understand."

"I don't, quite frankly. When Father got your message he asked us to investigate before he upset your mother by telling her. He was sure that there must be some sort of mistake... but from the reaction we got when we made enquiries about finding you, it seems to be true."

"Yes, it's true. Richard, you don't know what it can be like sometimes on the Enterprise - all you've ever seen is the drastic, romantic side of things. No-one ever tells you about the responsibility, the fear of failure, the sheer loneliness. I needed someone who could understand all that, who could share it - someone who knows without being told what the pressures are. Spock... understands."

"But a man! He's not even Human! Why pick someone like that?"

"Because I learned to love him. I didn't ask for it. We've shared so much, he's made so many sacrifices for me over the years... we became so close... at last we came to share this, too. It's not just a physical relationship, but a mental unity neither of us can break."

"Rubbish!" Richard broke in disgustedly. "The plain truth is, you fancied him, and you went to bed with him. Lord knows why - you've been normal up to now, and don't try to dress up a sordid affair with all this romantic talk. Can't you see what you've done? Father has a good chance of being elected to the World Council in a few months - how do you think it'll look if it gets out that his nephew is legally tied to another man? The opposition will have a field day! You could have gone off and had a discreet affair, but you had to make a big production out of it."

Kirk grew very white; for a moment he said nothing, then asked quietly, "Have I understood you correctly? You'd be quite willing for me to sleep with Spock - as long as I'm discreet about it - but because I've admitted that I love him, because I've pledged myself to him, you consider that I should be ashamed?"

"I wouldn't put it quite like that," Robert broke in placatingly, "but you must admit it looks bad. So okay, homosexuality is no longer a criminal offence on Earth, but it's not yet fully accepted, and anyone in public life is still vulnerable to the gutter press. If you'd just... "

"That's enough!" Kirk interrupted sharply. "I've chosen my way. If you can't accept it, I'm sorry, but it's my life, and I must live it as I see fit. I think you'd better go now - feeling as you do, I don't think it would be wise for you to be here when Spock wakes up."

"I was afraid you'd take that attitude," Richard said slowly. His voice softened, became more persuasive. "Jim, we only want what's best for you. Come back to Earth with us. This Vulcan has twisted your thinking - you know you'd never have agreed to this charade if you'd been in your right mind. Come home and get yourself straightened out; the family will stand by you, brief the best lawyers... we'll get you free somehow."

"But I don't want to be free," Kirk said firmly. "I belong with Spock now." He turned to Robert. "Please go - I know there'll only be trouble if you stay."

"You're right," Richard said harshly, "and I'm starting it. Come on, Jim - you're leaving with us - now!"

Kirk turned to see his cousin armed with a phaser. "It's only set on stun," Richard warned, "but it'll keep you quiet - I'll use it if I have to, to get you out of here."

"Don't be a fool," Kirk said contemptuously. "How do you think you'll get me off Vulcan? Spock will know the minute you try, even if you do stun me, and everyone on Vulcan will turn out to stop you. You be stealing me from my bondmate - and that's a serious crime here."

"Jim, please come with us," Judith pleaded. "We only want to do what's best."

"Best for me - or best for the family?" Kirk said bitterly. "If you're so ashamed of me, you can always disown me - that should please the voters! You'll have to use that phaser, Richard - I'm not going with you."

"That's enough!" Richard said angrily. Moving closer he caught Kirk's arm with his free hand. "It's very clear you're being controlled by that Vulcan. One day you'll thank me for this, but for now, like it or not, you're coming with us."

"Let me go!" Kirk struggled, the violence of his reaction taking the three by surprise. Alarmed, they closed in around Kirk in an attempt to subdue him, their attention so taken up that they suspected nothing until an arm reached over Richard's shoulder to tear the phaser from his hand. Kirk stopped fighting at once and stood there, smiling triumphantly at the success of his diversion.

Spock threw the phaser aside and turned on Richard. "Take your hands off him!" he said quietly, coldly.

Richard stood his ground, tightening his grip on Kirk's arm. "So you're the one who's twisted Jim's thinking. Well, sorry to spoil your fun, but we're taking him out of here, and we'll get the best lawyers in the Federation to make sure you never come within a hundred miles of him again. Male marriage - another word for slavery! I don't think a Terran court would uphold such an obscenity."

"Richard, be careful!" Judith warned, seemingly the only one of the three to recognise the fury smouldering in the dark eyes.

"It all right - he won't dare harm me. We're here at the invitation of the Vulcan Council, remember. Jim, come on - we're leaving."

Spock had paid no attention to anything Richard said. "Take your hands off him!" he repeated harshly; the cold menace in his voice made Kirk shiver.

When the Human made no move to obey, Spock hissed in annoyance and reached out to pull Richard's fingers from Kirk's arm. There was a sharp crack of breaking bone, a scream of pain, and Richard staggered back.

"You've broken my arm!" he gasped unbelievingly.

Spock ignored him, reaching out to touch Kirk's face gently. "Did he hurt you, Jim?"

"No, I'm all right. Just get rid of them, please."

Robert and Judith had moved to help Richard. They looked up apprehensively as the Vulcan addressed them.

"Understand this - you were fortunate to have escaped so lightly. I have the right to kill you for laying hands on my bondmate. The only excuse is that you could not understand the seriousness of your crime. You will please leave now. The Council will be informed that your presence is no longer acceptable on Vulcan. You will convey this message to any members of your family who are interested - Jim has chosen to remain with me, and I will never let him go. If, after consideration, you can accept that fact, you may see him again; but if you continue your opposition I must forbid you to contact him - I will not have him subjected to another scene such as this.

"Your pilot is waiting; I will escort you to the landing area and instruct him to return you to your hotel... where I suggest you arrange to leave Vulcan as quickly as possible. Come."

He stood waiting as Judith and Robert helped Richard to his feet, and stalked grimly behind them as they left, watching until the car vanished from sight.

Kirk met him as he returned to the house. Without speaking they walked out into the garden where Kirk sat down, taking Spock's head onto his lap. "You were a bit hard on Richard," he murmured, stroking the soft hair.

"Was I? I meant what I said - I do have the right to kill him for touching you. Jim... " He hesitated, his eyes uncertain. "Did my... my possessiveness offend you? Truly, I did not mean... Any Vulcan would have acted so... "

"Tell me," Kirk invited as the Vulcan faltered; he knew it was important to them both that he understand.

"It is not jealousy - not as a Human would understand the term," Spock continued slowly. "Nor is it possessiveness in the usual sense. You know how important the bondmate is to a Vulcan male, for he depends on her - or him - for his very life and sanity. Any threat to the mate is therefore to be feared... Jim, I only knew that they wanted to take you away... and I reacted instinctively. However, I wish I had not injured your cousin... Now you know why Vulcans prize control so highly - our anger can be dangerous."

"And I didn't help, I suppose." Kirk sighed. "I lost my own temper... "

"You were very calm," Spock contradicted him. "Your control and quick thinking in creating that diversion allowed me to disarm him. I do not think he would have thought to set the phaser to a killing force, but he was just angry enough to have done it."

"I was scared for a minute when he pulled that phaser on me," Kirk confessed. "Then I felt you in my mind, and knew that you were coming. It would have been so undignified to have screamed for help!" He chuckled, then went on seriously, "I'm sorry, Spock."

"What for?"

"Their attitude. Your people have accepted me so completely, I'd hoped... " 

"You must remember that we are accustomed to male bonding; to most Humans it is still an oddity. Perhaps in time your family will understand."

"I hope so - though really, it's only my mother's approval I really care about. And even if she objects... Spock, if everyone condemned me for it, I'd still be content with my choice."

"And I." Spock reached up to draw Kirk's head down; and as their lips met all other concerns vanished.

***

It was curiously peaceful, Kirk thought; the Enterprise never seemed so much his as she did now, in the quiet hours of the artificial night. The pulse of the great ship seemed to have slowed to a soothing, relaxed rhythm, and he moved easily along the corridors, enjoying the peace. They were in orbit around Starbase 9 - most of the crew had been given permission to beam down for a few hours' relaxation. Even Spock had gone, but Kirk had laughingly begged to be excused the visit to the distinguished scientist who was the Vulcan's host - they would get on much better without him, he had said ruefully. Instead he had spent the evening with McCoy, who had also remained on board, and was now returning to the quarters he shared with Spock.

Kirk grinned suddenly - he had been so nervous that day he returned from leave, wondering how he would be greeted. He and Spock had headed first for their quarters, each a little sad to know that now they would not be able to be quite so close; though to be sure, they occupied neighbouring cabins, and perhaps a communicating door could be arranged...

When they arrived, however, it was to find Scotty and a crew of his men working in the gutted shell of the rooms - some of the circuits had needed replacing, Scotty had explained, and it had taken longer than he had thought.

In the meantime alternative quarters had been arranged for them. The two doors were side by side at the end of the corridor - at least they had not been separated. With a grin at Spock, Kirk stepped through his door.

These rooms were laid out differently from the ones he was used to; he stood now in a small office, obviously intended as a workroom. A door in the wall led into an unusually large day cabin, and he was surveying it with a puzzled frown when Spock appeared through another door. They looked at each other in surprise, then investigated the sleeping cabin, to find that this also had been designed to accommodate two, and as if to prove that there was no mistake, both his possessions and Spock's filled the rooms. Suddenly, Kirk understood. McCoy had broken the news to the crew and this was their response, a conspiracy to arrange matters so that he and Spock could share quarters.

Kirk chuckled at the memory of the expression on Spock's face when comprehension dawned at last - the Vulcan had actually blushed. Later that evening there had been a small party to celebrate the beginning of a new mission, and he and Spock had attended briefly as was their custom. Respecting Vulcan reticence no-one had said anything openly, but from their attitude it was clear that all their friends wished them well. Reassured by that acceptance they quickly settled back into the life of the ship.

To all appearances nothing had changed between them. On duty Spock treated Kirk as he had always done, giving him the respect and loyalty due to a Captain from his First Officer; only in the privacy of their quarters did they allow themselves any intimate contact.

Kirk was thinking of that intimacy as he stepped out of the lift and turned towards his quarters. Unconsciously his hand lifted to his neck to finger the encircling chain. God, how he wanted Spock! He smiled tenderly as he thought how wonderful it was, sleeping with the Vulcan. Sometimes their hours of duty would conflict and he would retire alone, only to awaken to the clasp of strong arms, to a warm body pressed close to his; or he would come, tired and dispirited, from the bridge to slide thankfully into a comforting, welcoming embrace. Often they did not even make love, but slept locked together in mind and body, content simply with each other's nearness.

Tonight, though, his body was crying out for the Vulcan's fierce yet tender lovemaking, and he firmly erected his mental barriers, unwilling to distract Spock from his no doubt fascinating discussion by transmitting his need. He could wait until tomorrow, and his enjoyment would only be enhanced by the postponement.

As he stepped through the cabin door he was so engrossed in thinking what he would ask of Spock that the faint warning rustle of movement came too late; a hand clamped firmly on his shoulders and his stunned mind only had time to recognise the Vulcan nerve pinch before he pitched forward onto the floor.

***

On the Starbase Spock was becoming distinctly, though irrationally, uneasy.

Throughout the day he had been aware of the warm, comforting background of Kirk's thoughts, and he had enjoyed the sense of companionship that was the gift of the bond. As the evening wore on, however, the pattern of those thoughts began to change, and he became aware of his lover's growing desire. With tender amusement he watched Kirk's efforts to discipline his mind, and shared his sense of triumph as his privacy screen slid into place, aware that it had never been in the Human's nature to deny himself, and appreciating the effort he was making to adjust to the sometimes complex realities of living with a Vulcan. The screen was not complete, of course, and never could be against a bondmate, but Spock respected Kirk's wish to control his mind unaided, and deliberately ignored those tendrils of thought that leaked through.

Freed from the distraction he plunged enthusiastically into conversation with his host, and only gradually did the conviction dawn on him that something was wrong. At first he could not tell exactly what it was, but he soon realised that he could not pick up even the faintest trace of Kirk's mind.

It was highly disturbing - Kirk was not capable of such complete shielding... yet the Human was safely aboard the Enterprise, he would have been told if anything had happened to him.

At last Spock shamefacedly yielded to the illogical compulsion and reached for his bondmate, only to recoil in shock from an utterly blank void - Kirk's mind was unreachable.

The Human could not be dead, for he still lived... yet even if he was unconscious or asleep, there should have been some response to that call... this was not Kirk's doing.

For the first time in his life Spock knew the meaning of fear. Moving with controlled impatience he bade a courteous farewell to his host; the hands that pulled out the communicator trembled slightly.

***

Kirk came round to lie for some minutes wondering where he was and what had happened to him. He was lying on a bed in what was, he now realised, one of the seldom-used passenger cabins on the Enterprise. His shoulder ached abominably - the pinch had been administered carelessly - but he was unable to account for a dull throbbing behind his eyes.

Raising his hands to his head he felt something hard and cold, as though fine wires pierced the skin over his temples. His touch on the metal brought a staggering increase in the level of pain; he dropped his hands instantly and crossed to the mirror to peer anxiously at his reflection.

He had guessed correctly - over each temple a delicate silver needle had been embedded in the flesh, and memory of the pain a mere touch had brought made Kirk hesitate to attempt to remove them.

The door was locked, he found on investigation, and the intercom had been disconnected - clearly he had been deliberately imprisoned here. But by whom? And why?

Kirk rubbed his shoulder thoughtfully; the nerve pinch... but there had been no trace of Spock's presence in his mind... he would have known if the Vulcan had been near him, for there was a special warmth to the bond when they were close.

Shaking his head in bewilderment Kirk opened his mind, calling to his bondmate - only to sink to his knees, helpless even to stand before a mindshattering wave of agony that threatened to overwhelm his sanity. So much pain could not exist... yet he was experiencing it in every cell of his body, every fibre of his mind.

Through an anguished haze he was aware that the door opened and closed again; footsteps approached, and a pair of black boots moved into his line of sight. Their owner knelt, a hand reached out, lifted his chin... and he was gazing into a pair of hideously-familiar eyes that studied him maliciously.

"You!" he gasped; his voice was thick with loathing.

"Indeed," the replica replied calmly. "I promised that we would meet again, Captain. I did not, however, anticipate that I would be so long delayed." Effortlessly he hauled Kirk to his feet and pushed him into a chair. "You will recover shortly. I must caution you, though, against making any further attempt to contact your lover - the device I have implanted in you is an extremely effective thought shield, and any attempt to use the mind link will only produce the same result."

The replica lounged on the bed, watching Kirk as the pain faded, and the Human found himself able to think again.

"How did you survive?" he asked, playing for time.

"It appears that the screen around Organia did, to some extent, also affect my... original; he neglected to ensure that I had, in fact, been destroyed. When I recovered consciousness it was clear that you had won, so I took advantage of the confusion to return to the safest possible refuge - the Enterprise. I am as familiar with the ship as he - it was not difficult to find a hiding place where I could recover and plan my next move. Not even the refit crew detected my presence - I have been living very comfortably, awaiting my opportunity."

"But why take the risk of remaining here at all?" Kirk asked. "What is it you want?"

The replica's face darkened. "Vengeance - and you, Captain. My counterpart will suffer as I have suffered; as for you - having once tasted the delights of your body, I find I want... more."

At the tone of his voice Kirk's eyes widened; the replica's eyes burned with a strange fire, he was sweating profusely, the veins stood out prominently in his neck. Kirk felt a rising panic; could it be...

The replica was speaking again, his voice thick with anticipation. "I may not have the telepathic skills of my original, but I share and sense his emotions; your passion for each other has been a torment to me. You have seen the pon farr - now behold the lan farr, the condition produced when another male takes the desired mate. I cannot kill you... not yet... but you will both pay. I will take my pleasure from your body, and then ensure that he finds you when I have finished with you. It should be an interesting experience - until now you have been approached only with love, but this time you will yield to force."

While he listened, Kirk had been studying the room. The replica was lying on the bed... perhaps he could reach the door? His muscles tensed as he sprang to his feet and raced across the room; his fingers had touched the door release when a hand caught in his hair and he was pulled round into powerful arms.

Fingers gripped his chin, holding it firmly, and a greedy mouth fastened on his. Kirk struggled frantically, but his lips were forced apart and a wet tongue slid between them to explore his mouth. He felt sick with disgust - this greedy embrace violated beyond bearing the memory of the kisses he had so gladly given and taken from Spock.

The hard body pressed closer, pushing Kirk against the door; his futile struggles were only exciting his assailant further, he realised, but he fought on hopelessly, uselessly, choking for breath until at last the tongue was withdrawn from his mouth.

"I will warn you once only," the replica said. "Fight me if you wish - it makes the game more interesting - but if you injure me, your lover dies."

Kirk stopped struggling, his eyes widening with a horrified question. The replica touched the silver pins, producing an echo of the devastating pain.

"While you were unconscious and unable to block me out, I touched on the link that binds you to your lover. Now I can use my mind through yours to reach him with a sanity-destroying blast of pain. He will die in agony, and you with him - after I have finished with you. Co-operate... and I may let you both live."

Without waiting for an answer the replica held Kirk effortlessly with one hand grasping both of the Human's wrists; with the other he reached down and unfastened his trousers. Changing his grip he pressed one of Kirk's hands into his groin, holding it there by pulling the Human close to his body as he resumed his insolent exploration of Kirk's mouth.

Kirk could feel the organ beginning to swell in his unwilling grasp, and he shivered as his shirt was torn open and cruel fingers pinched his nipples; then his belt was loosened and the hand slid down over his stomach to explore him intimately.

The change in position had left the replica slightly unbalanced, and with a sudden surge of strength Kirk pulled away, looking round frantically for a weapon. He had never known stark terror before, and it made him forget the risk of the replica's mind power - he caught up a heavy ornament that stood on the room divider, then backed away warily.

The replica laughed, but made no attempt to pursue Kirk - from his attitude it was clear that he knew Kirk could not escape. Instead he began to undress methodically, then, naked, he advanced on Kirk.

The Human lashed out savagely, but Vulcan-swift reflexes defeated him; his wrist was caught, and the numbing pain made Kirk drop the weapon. The replica dragged Kirk across the room and sat down in a chair, pulling Kirk onto his lap so that he could feel the swollen hardness of the Vulcan's erection throbbing against his buttocks. Strong fingers closed around his organ - the replica seemed in no hurry as he slowly, deliberately, milked the Human.

"You remember how it felt, don't you?" the hated voice murmured. "So good, you wanted more... and you went to him for it. Ah yes, your body betrays you - see how you respond to me... "

The friction quickened, keeping time with Kirk's racing heart; burning lips slid down his throat to fasten bruisingly on his nipple, sucking hungrily as the working hand moved faster and faster. At last Kirk's body convulsed in unwilling orgasm, the supporting arms fell away, and he was dropped onto the floor. There was a moment of respite, then the hands were busy again, stripping away the remainder of his clothing, spreading his legs wide.

Kirk bit back a scream at the tearing pain of forced penetration, but involuntary tears sprang from his eyes. Here was no attempt to ease the violence of the intrusion, only a blind lust that demanded immediate satisfaction.

As the relentless thrusting began, seeming to rip him apart, Kirk realised just how much Spock still shielded him from the pain, how carefully the Vulcan approached him for fear of the damage his enlarged organ might do. He had moaned in delicious excitement at Spock's possession of him, but his scream now was one of pure agony as the replica pumped mercilessly into his torn flesh. Panting with excitement, the creature clawed with sharp nails at Kirk's shoulders as his hips jerked, sending his semen flooding into the Human's body. Then, unexpectedly, he drew away, watching with amusement as Kirk lay huddled beside him, sobbing helplessly with shame and disgust.

At last Kirk stirred and raised his head; glancing down he could see his thighs streaked with blood, glistening with the replica's semen; and he shuddered, aware that in his crazed lust the creature was careless of what damage he might do to the comparatively fragile Human body he desired.

An imperious hand in his hair pulled Kirk to his knees, but he would not raise his eyes. The hated voice spoke again, with gloating anticipation. "Open your mouth."

Kirk did look up then, to see the replica pushing his still-swollen organ towards his face.

"Please, not that!" It seemed to Kirk that this act, which he considered to be the most intimate form of lovemaking, could not possibly be demanded from him. He had done it willingly, joyously, for Spock, but for this creature... no, he could not.

"Open your mouth!" the replica repeated implacably. "Obey me, or... " His hands brushed the pins in warning. Kirk understood the threat - he must submit, even co-operate, or the replica would use the precious link to attack Spock directly.

"Please, no!" he begged abjectly, but his lips parted obediently. The replica laughed, ignoring his plea, and slid himself into the Human's mouth. He gripped the back of Kirk's head, drawing Kirk closer as he forced himself in even deeper, and with dazed resignation Kirk obeyed the signals of those relentless hands.

When it was done the replica let Kirk go and he doubled over, retching violently. He was aware that he was caught, turned onto his back, that his legs were spread yet again, but he lay listlessly - even the pain did not seem to reach him any longer.  _Perhaps he was going mad?_ he thought hopefully.

Soon after he began to lose consciousness; his exhausted body could no longer stand the strain of what was being done to him. Occasionally he was partly wakened by the relentless driving into his bruised flesh, by the pain of sharp teeth biting deep, or by the loathed voice hissing in his ear as the creature poured out his obscene fantasies, and compelled the Human to satisfy them.

There came a time, however, when not all the indignities inflicted upon him could awaken Kirk again; his unconscious body lay limply in whatever position his tormentor placed it, but in a effort to preserve his sanity his stunned mind had retreated far away.

The replica continued his assault, but it had lost much of its pleasure for him with the knowledge that he held only a mindless, scarcely-breathing body in his arms. Yet it had to be - the demon-driven lan farr must run its course, and this was the body he desired, however little awareness animated it.

***

McCoy and Scott were waiting in the transporter room when Spock materialised. They took one look at his face, and bit back the questions the unexpected summons had aroused.

"Have either of you seen the Captain?" Spock asked curtly.

"He was with me earlier this evening," McCoy replied. "He was going to your quarters when he left, but he's not there now - I checked when you called in."

The Vulcan crossed to the intercom, and demanded ship-wide relay. "Spock here. Captain Kirk, acknowledge, please."

They waited. The speaker was ominously silent.

For a moment the Vulcan stood motionless, his head bowed in thought; then he looked up and the two Humans recoiled before the disturbing glitter in those dark eyes.

"Come with me, gentlemen," Spock said quietly, his tone reflecting the bleak desolation in his face.

"Can you find him, Spock?" McCoy asked anxiously. "I thought you said... "

"Something has closed his mind to me, but I know that he is on board. I cannot touch his thoughts, but the bond draws me to him."

Exchanging glances, McCoy and Scotty followed as the Vulcan left the transporter room. Unconsciously, the engineer's hand fell to the butt of his phaser.

Spock headed steadily along the corridors of the Enterprise. There was an occasional momentary hesitation while he paused, considering, but the tenuous thread that still bound Kirk to him drew him onwards.

The turbolift conveyed them to the passenger deck, and now Spock's agitation increased noticeably. His pace quickened until he paused at last outside one of the cabins.

"Here." His voice was flat, toneless.

McCoy, as Chief Medical Officer, had voice over-ride to all parts of the ship; he demanded entry, as Spock seemed incapable of further speech, but the door remained obstinately closed.

Scotty stepped forward, reaching for his phaser. "Let me." The powerful beam cut through the metal easily, and the engineer stood back.

"I'll keep watch here," he said.

Spock nodded; he seemed curiously reluctant to enter. After a moment, he straightened his shoulders and walked into the cabin, McCoy at his heels. Only Spock's cry of desolate anguish convinced the shocked surgeon that the bruised, blood-smeared body on the bed was really his friend. Kirk lay limply, sprawled just as the replica had left him, and the doctor's professional eye automatically began to catalogue the visible injuries.

This was no simple beating - the wide-spread, bloodstained legs, the still glistening trails of semen smeared across Kirk's thighs and belly, the bleeding lips and nipples, all attested to violent and repeated rape.

Dear God! McCoy thought, feeling a lump form in his throat. How will Jim ever survive this! And Spock? What will it do to him?

Swallowing convulsively, he moved forward. Spock was sitting on the bed with Kirk cradled tenderly in his arms.

"Spock, let me have him now - we must get him to sickbay." It was the cool professional tone of the healer, McCoy noted with approval as he firmly set aside his grief for the man who was almost a son to him, knowing that an emotional reaction now would only lessen the help he could give.

Spock shook his head, his arms tightening instinctively, pulling Kirk closer; the usually gentle eyes were blazing with an almost insane grief and anger, and for a moment McCoy wondered if he would have to sedate Spock to get to Kirk. One thing he noticed with startling clarity - despite the tension evident in every line of Spock's body, despite the barely-controlled fury that radiated from him, the arms that cradled the Human were very gentle, and the trembling hands smoothed the sweat-soaked hair with matchless tenderness.

"Spock, give him to me," McCoy repeated softly. "Let me help him."

At last Spock seemed to understand what McCoy wanted, and his arms relaxed their grip slightly.

"Not... like this... " he murmured vaguely. Looking round he picked up the bedcover which had fallen to the floor, and carefully wrapped Kirk in its concealing folds. Then he lifted the shrouded body into his arms and headed for sickbay, closely followed by the two Humans.

Spock laid Kirk on the diagnostic bed while McCoy's snapped orders cleared the room - the doctor understood how vital it was that no-one else should learn what had been done to the Captain. Scotty planted himself, an immovable obstacle, in front of the door to bar any attempted intrusion.

McCoy hurried over to the bed, to find Spock carefully examining the silver pins over Kirk's temples.

"What the hell is that?" he asked.

"A thought shield," the Vulcan murmured. "So that is why... " He reached out and carefully began to withdraw the pins.

Even in his unconscious state the Human convulsed in agony until Spock's touch on his face quietened him. For a moment the Vulcan remained in position; as the link reformed he learned from Kirk's mind what had happened, and his face darkened. At last he stepped away from the bed.

"I leave him in your hands, McCoy. Do... do your best for him."

"I will, Spock - you can count on that." McCoy's voice was rough with tears.

"I... know." For a moment longer the Vulcan lingered, his eyes fixed hungrily on Kirk's face, then abruptly he turned away. "Mr. Scott, come with me!"

***

Hours later McCoy and Scott sat in the doctor's office, a bottle of brandy on the desk between them. Kirk lay in a drugged sleep in the isolation ward, a watchful Spock at his side.

"Ah tell ye, it wis the maist horrible thing Ah ever saw," Scotty was saying. "Spock learned aboot the replica from the Captain's mind, and somehow he managed tae track him down - ye'll remember how he seemed tae ken where the creature was the last time. We finally caught up wi' him in the lower levels. We could've taken him easily, but Spock wouldna' let me interfere - he threw away his phaser and went in bare-handed. Och, it wis terrible! Spock could've killed him a dozen times, but he wouldna'... he jist kept on and on... and if Ah hadna' seen whit he'd done take the Captain, Ah'd almost have felt sorry for the poor creature in the end. He wis screaming take die, but Spock only laughed... Ah tell ye, Ah niver want tae hear laughter like that again... At last Ah couldna' stand it ony mair and Ah used my phaser... For a minute Ah thought Spock would turn on me then, but he seemed tae calm down; he told me tae get rid o' the body, and jist walked away - back here, Ah suppose. Leonard, we've both seen Spock kill in the past, but never like that."

"The violation of a bondmate," McCoy said slowly. "It's the one thing that'd make a Vulcan kill so savagely. I remember that time on Vulcan... and Spock didn't care two pins for T'Pring. But Jim's his mate, so God help anyone who hurts him!"

"How is the Captain? " Scotty asked.

McCoy filled their glasses and sighed, wondering how to answer. With Jim out of action, and Spock's control suspect, Scotty was in effective command of the ship. Hopefully no-one else needed to know what had happened, but to cover effectively Scotty needed to know the full picture -  _besides, he knows most of it already,_ McCoy reflected.

"Physically, not too serious," he replied at last. "I got to him reasonably quickly. He was badly torn, of course - the replica wasn't any too careful with him; he's bruised, badly scratched and bitten, there are some internal injuries... but he'll mend. What I am worried about is his emotional state when he comes round. Rape... it's a thing very few men have ever had to face. It's the personal violation, Scotty, the feeling of being soiled, the... the contempt it takes for one person to use another so ruthlessly - "

"He's got Spock to help him," Scotty suggested.

"Has he? I wonder. Who knows how a Vulcan will react to something like this? Fidelity is very important to them... and they're so bloody possessive... "

He was interrupted by a scream of frantic terror from the isolation ward. Both men sprang to their feet and ran to the door. Kirk was sitting up in bed, his eyes wide with horror; the dreadful screaming ran on and on until it seemed that his voice would break. Spock was standing beside him, one hand extended imploringly, but Kirk was blind to everything except his terror - his eyes were fixed and staring with such a look of blended fear and shame that McCoy feared for his reason.

As the two men entered Spock gave a faint sigh and dropped his hand, stepping back to allow the doctor to take his place.

Slowly, Kirk seemed to recognise McCoy. "Bones!" he choked, holding out his hands.

McCoy flashed a glance at Spock, asking and receiving his tacit permission, then he sat down on the bed and took Kirk in his arms.

The storm broke with a vengeance. Kirk huddled as close to McCoy as he could get, weeping in a bitter flood of shame and disgust. McCoy simply held him and let him cry; he was not sure of what he said, and it didn't matter - he merely kept his voice soft and compassionate as he soothed and comforted.

At last the weeping shuddered slowly into silence, the rigid body relaxed in his arms, and McCoy laid Kirk back against the pillows, gently brushing the wet hair from his eyes. Kirk was sleeping naturally now, and with a sigh McCoy straightened, turning to yield his place to Spock. The Vulcan had gone.

***

Within a few days Kirk was well enough to be released from sickbay. He had listened expressionlessly to Scotty's account of the replica's fate, but even with McCoy he refused to discuss what had happened to him. It was as though he was trying to bury the memory beyond recall. With some misgivings McCoy respected his wishes, hoping that he would be able to share his anguish with Spock, and that the Vulcan would be able to heal the trauma for him.

It quickly became clear, however, that this hope was unfounded - something had gone very wrong between Kirk and Spock. The crew were not aware of it, for they behaved in their usual fashion on duty, but McCoy kept a close though discreet watch, and knew that since his discharge from sickbay Kirk had slept alone in their quarters.

As the days passed the Vulcan seemed to retreat deeper than ever behind his emotionless mask, and Kirk - Kirk grew daily paler and more drawn. He was losing weight, he slept badly, and spent most of his off-duty time shut up alone in his quarters. McCoy began to fear the possibility of complete physical and mental breakdown.

With some trepidation he made up his mind and set off to visit Kirk. It was a thankless task, he knew, to interfere even in a normal Human marriage - he was so ignorant of Vulcan custom that his intervention here might do even more harm, but he had to try, even if only to give Kirk the chance to talk.

When he signalled for admission there was a long delay before the door slid back and Kirk stood there, eyeing him sullenly.

"Jim, I want to talk to you," McCoy said in a tone that would admit no denial.

"You'd better come in then," Kirk replied ungraciously.

The room was very dim, and McCoy turned the lights up to study his friend more clearly. Kirk looked even more haggard than before; his eyelids were red and suspiciously swollen.

For a moment Kirk returned the stare challengingly, as though trying to brazen it out, but the effort was too much - he sank down at the desk, burying his face in his hands.

"Jim, what is it?" McCoy asked gently. "I know there's something wrong between you and Spock - won't you tell me about it? Is it because of the rape?"

Kirk nodded slowly. "He won't even look at me," he said with weary hopelessness. "Except when we're on duty he hasn't come near me since... since that night. Even when he came to sickbay to report he made sure that we were never alone. God knows, I've got no pride left. I even... " Kirk swallowed nervously. "Today I saw him leaving the bridge and... and I went after him, hoping that when we were alone in the lift he would at least talk to me. But... when he saw me leaving he... he made an excuse to stop and speak to Uhura so that he wouldn't have to go with me." He laughed bitterly. "Don't you understand? It makes him sick to be near me... he'll go to any lengths to avoid touching me... "

"Surely not!" McCoy was shocked. "He knows it wasn't your fault - he can't blame you because you weren't strong enough to defend yourself."

"He doesn't blame me, no," Kirk replied wearily. "He just... he just doesn't want another man's leavings - that's what I am now, you know. Vulcans set great store on... on chastity... The things I did before I loved him don't count, but now... I've been... used, contaminated - how can I offer him my body now? Vulcan tradition says that a bondmate who has been raped is in honour obliged to set the other free, and die... but I don't know how to break the bond, and Spock won't discuss it... I certainly can't ask anyone else... Oh God, Bones, what am I going to do? I'd set him free if I could, but I don't want to die - not really... Even his mind is closed to me now... I called him through the bond, but he won't answer. How are we going to live, linked by the bond, when he can't stand to look at me? I can't... " Kirk choked, his voice fading into silence.

"I'm sorry, Jim - I wish there was something I could do," McCoy said helplessly.

From somewhere, Kirk produced an unsteady grin. "I'll manage. Leave me now, Bones. I've got to get used to being... alone again."

McCoy touched his shoulder compassionately and left; he had been tempted to offer Kirk a sedative, but it would be a temporary relief at best - he needed so much more.

The longer he thought over Kirk's pitiful story the angrier McCoy became. Surely Spock could see how hellishly cruel he was being? He claimed to love Jim, yet was deliberately leaving him alone to suffer agonies of guilt and self-reproach.

McCoy snorted indignantly - who the hell could be expected to understand a race that accepted homosexual marriage as a matter of course, yet regarded the most chaste of kisses as disgustingly obscene if exchanged in public?

Well, he at least was sufficiently angry to give Spock a piece of his mind... He could make a reasonably accurate guess as to where the Vulcan might be, and he was right; Spock rose from behind his desk in the science department and stood patiently waiting for an explanation of the doctor's stormy entrance.

McCoy opened his mouth, took a sudden sharp look at the Vulcan, and abruptly changed his mind about what he intended to say. Spock looked ill - as ill as Jim; his brilliant eyes were dull, sunk in shadows like green bruises, the skin drawn taut over his cheekbones. In the corner of the office a couch with a neatly-folded blanket showed where he had spent his nights since he had deserted Kirk's bed.

"Spock, sit down before you fall down," McCoy said gently. "You haven't been sleeping, and I'll lay odds you haven't been eating, either."

"I do not wish to discuss... " Spock began wearily, but McCoy waved him to silence.

"I know, but you're going to. This is a medical matter now. Do you really want to force me to put in an official report about what happened to Jim? I have to, you know, if both the Captain and the First Officer are unfit for duty."

Spock raised his head, his eyes widening. "Jim! What is wrong with him?"

"You are. Look, I don't know the correct Vulcan attitude to a mate who's been raped, but Jim's Human, dammit! He needs comfort, reassurance... can't you at least talk to him?"

Spock shook his head. "What purpose would it serve to torment us both? Jim hides it well, but I know... he is... so afraid of me."

"Afraid of you?" McCoy's voice sharpened. "Spock, that's just not true! He's in agony because he thinks you don't want him."

"You are mistaken, Doctor. I have... evidence."

"What evidence? Explain!"

"That night... in sickbay," Spock began, awkwardly. "I was with him when he awoke. He looked at me, and screamed in terror. I can never allow myself to forget that he was brutally raped by a man who wore my face. I could not bear... to see the memory of that shame in his eyes every time he looked at me. How could he endure my touch after that?"

"Spock, you idiot!" McCoy took a deep breath of relief. "You really don't understand? Jim wasn't awake! Sure, he came round, but not completely - he was still back in that cabin, thought you were the replica. As soon as he did come round fully be began asking for you, and you never came; and ever since you've avoided him. So he's been crying himself to sleep, thinking that he disgusts you. And to make things worse, you even had to shut him out of your mind."

"I... did not wish to intrude. I thought he would prefer me not to know the... the details... and so I left him his privacy... " Spock reached out, caught McCoy's shoulders. "You are sure, McCoy? I would not wish... to hurt him."

"You'll only hurt him if you stay away. Go to him, Spock - he needs you."

***

With a weary sigh Kirk rolled onto his back. Once again sleep eluded him... yet if he slept he would dream... The bed seemed so big, so empty without Spock's warm body pressed to his. Warm... but he was cold... he would never be warm again...

He sat upright, listening. The outer door had opened, someone was crossing the day cabin - McCoy? Perhaps the doctor had decided to give him the sedative his stubborn pride would not let him ask for. If only he could be sure there would be no dreams...

For an instant terror flared as the tall figure appeared in the doorway and he shrank back; then he saw the hurt and desolation in those dark eyes at his instinctive withdrawal, and his love overcame his fear.

"Spock!" he called pleadingly, and held out his hands.

Safe comforting arms held him and he relaxed, rubbing his face against the softness of Spock's shirt, luxuriating in the feel of warm lips buried in his hair. He did not know how or why, but he did know that it was all right - Spock had come back. It felt so good... but surely Spock could not know what he had done.

"No deception," he murmured, almost to himself; he hugged Spock fiercely for a moment, then raised his head. "Spock, there's something I must tell you... "

Spock listened in silence as the pitiful story came in halting words, full of Kirk's guilt and self reproach, his fear of his lover's disgust. He knew that the Human regarded that particular intimacy as his own special gift to his bondmate, and understood that Kirk thought of his unwilling cooperation as a betrayal of their love.

"Jim, listen to me," he said at last. "It was done for love of me, to protect me from the thought shield. I do not think that the replica had the power to kill me as he claimed, but I would certainly have gone insane - a fate even more terrible than death. You did the only thing you could - can you not accept that?"

"I'll try, if you can," Kirk said softly. "But... oh Spock... I don't mind so much for myself... but it hurts me to know that something you love has been... damaged."

"Because he possessed your body? Jim, we cannot change that; but nothing he did to you touched your mind or our love, unless we permit it to do so. He must not defeat us now - come back to me, my love, and together we will learn to accept what has happened. Do not let one night of shame and sorrow erase all the joy we have shared."

Kirk's answer was not made in words. Instead he lifted his face to Spock's and kissed him very gently, with a degree of hesitancy the Vulcan noticed at once.

McCoy had warned him to expect this, explaining that Kirk would instinctively reject any too-impetuous lovemaking at first; he would have to proceed very carefully, using everything he had learned from his bondmate.

Spock held the kiss for a long time with a barely-perceptible pressure, until Kirk's lips softened and parted of their own accord. Only then did he allow his tongue to enter Kirk's mouth. The Human responded timidly at first, but as Spock made no sudden demands his confidence grew and he was soon enjoying the slow, sweet kiss.

Spock's hands had been quietly stroking Kirk's hair; now they slid down his back, tracing the curve of his spine, smoothing over his bare shoulders. Kirk found the contact pleasant at first, but every muscle jerked rigid when the warm fingers slipped below the sheet to stroke his thigh. With a start he remembered that he was naked - he had taken to sleeping so, liking the feel of Spock's skin on his - but now... the Vulcan might touch... might hurt...

As soon as he felt the resistance the Vulcan stopped, and reached up to cup Kirk's face in his hands. "Will you try to trust me not to hurt you?" he asked gently. "I will be careful."

"It's all right, Spock," Kirk murmured, "I just need a little more time to get used to... How can you be so patient with me?"

"Because I love you," Spock replied simply.

He settled Kirk back on the pillows and drew away the covers, studying the naked body attentively. The bruising had begun to fade but he noted the remaining traces, knowing that in those areas he must be especially careful not to hurt. He reached out and began to stroke Kirk slowly, gently; there was nothing particularly sexual about the caress - he might have been soothing a nervous kitten. Gradually Kirk's tense muscles began to relax under the gliding touch until when the Vulcan's fingers began to linger intimately, he accepted it with no sign of fear.

When he was satisfied that Kirk was completely relaxed Spock stood up and began to undress; he moved with slow deliberation, making no sudden moves that might startle the Human. Naked, he lay down beside Kirk and took his hand, pressing it to his thigh.

"Touch me, Jim," he urged gently. "Do not be afraid - I will not move without warning you first; but you must lose your fear of my body."

Slowly Kirk obeyed, finding that the Vulcan kept his promise and lay still, allowing his hands to explore as they wished. At last he gained a measure of confidence and progressed to a more intimate fondling; when he bent his head to kiss Spock's lips the Vulcan sensed his growing hunger.

Lying in Spock's arms, pressed close to the warm body, Kirk began to ache with longing to feel Spock inside him. He had been terrified that the replica might have made him fear possession, but although the memory of pain lingered, he was confident that Spock would not hurt him. He waited hopefully, but Spock made no further advances, and gradually he realised that the Vulcan was waiting for him to indicate his readiness. He could sense Spock's rising excitement held firmly in check, and was grateful for his lover's patience; any other man - himself included, he thought guiltily - would have demanded satisfaction long ago.

With lingering nervousness, but determined to control it, Kirk pulled away and lay back, spreading his legs apart; his hands gripped Spock's shoulders, drawing him into place, then he dropped his hand to the swollen organ, stroking it to full erection.

"Come into me, Spock," he whispered, lifting his hips slightly as he offered himself.

There was an instinctive resistance at the moment of penetration, but almost immediately Kirk relaxed - there was none of the pain he had automatically expected. The Vulcan moved very slowly, very carefully, allowing Kirk to become accustomed to the sensation as he advanced. When he was fully sheathed in the Human's body Spock paused and lowered his head to kiss him reassuringly, then he began to move.

It was a gentle, rocking motion, rather than the intensely powerful thrusting they normally enjoyed, allowing Kirk to experience the exciting friction within his body without being overwhelmed by it. Soon the Human began to respond, moving his hips in rhythm with Spock's until they reached a slow, exquisite climax. As they did so the warmth of Spock's mind again fully enfolded Kirk's as their meld was rejoined, as deeply as before.

Kirk clung to Spock, enjoying the deliciously comforting embrace. Even now he could scarcely believe that he was still capable of such pleasure after the pain he had endured, but his own sense of satisfaction and fulfillment, coupled with Spock's sleepy contentment, reassured him.

He found to his surprise that he was very tired - one orgasm did not usually exhaust him - until he remembered how little sleep both had had recently. With a satisfied murmur he curled closer in Spock's arms and drifted gently into a dreamless sleep.

***

When Kirk awoke he lay for some moments enjoying the warmth and security of being once more close to Spock. At last he leaned up on one elbow to study the Vulcan's face with loving intentness. Carefully, not wishing to disturb the sleeper, he reached out and stroked the smooth skin of Spock's shoulder, feeling as he did so a familiar stirring in his groin that banished the last of his fear. He could accept Spock's lovemaking - last night had proved that - but he had wondered if the replica had left him incapable of arousal.

It seemed that he had not - the lean hard body beside Kirk inspired an almost insatiable hunger. Impatient now, Kirk leaned down to kiss Spock; the warm lips parted instantly, and Kirk's tongue slipped into Spock's mouth, thrusting eagerly as he sought out the familiar response. His hand slipped down, working its way between the Vulcan's thighs. Spock moaned softly as Kirk's fingers penetrated his body and he writhed against the pressure, his movements completing the Human's arousal. As the teasing hand withdrew, Spock pulled Kirk urgently between his legs, blindly eager for the pleasure they only found in each other. His body heaved frantically in response to Kirk's eager thrusting, his hoarse breathing an echo of Kirk's own until, together, they shuddered to orgasm. Then in a warm glow of contentment they relaxed in each other's arms, enjoying both the satisfaction of sexual fulfillment and the unsurpassed intimacy of their linked minds.

Their contented mood was interrupted by the insistent tone of the intercom; with a sigh of resignation Kirk answered it, to hear McCoy's voice.

"Jim, I want to see you. Can I come in?"

Kirk glanced at Spock and coloured slightly. "Er... not right now, Bones."

"Oh, for Pete's sake! Look, this is strictly medical - I want to check you out."

Spock leaned over then. "You may come in, Doctor."

McCoy's infectious chuckle made Kirk grin. "So my prescription worked! I thought it might. I'm on my way."

Spock switched off and turned his head to Kirk, seemingly unperturbed by McCoy's visit.

"You... don't mind, Spock?" Kirk asked.

"McCoy is a doctor - and also our friend. However... " Spock reached down and drew up the bedcover, "... I see no reason to gratify his curiosity to too great an extent." He kissed Kirk lightly on the lips, drawing back as the outer door opened.

Seconds later McCoy appeared; he wasted no time, but ran his scanner first over Kirk, then over Spock.

"That's better," he grunted at last. "Soon have the pair of you in shape again."

"Satisfactory. Now if you will please retire, Jim and I have duties on the bridge."

"Not today, you don't," McCoy grinned. "I've just... er... remembered that I'm due to check out the medical facilities on the Starbase in a few weeks’ time - might as well do it while I'm here. It'll take a couple of days, and Scotty can run your precious ship quite happily. You two are confined to quarters - I'll make it a medical order if necessary. Get plenty of sleep, if you can."

"Bones, you devil!" Kirk laughed at the doctor's retreating back, and turned to Spock, mischief dancing in his eyes. "Now what?" he demanded.

Spock looked grave, but his eyes held Kirk's with a decided twinkle in their dark depths.

"Since the good doctor has confined us to quarters, I suggest it would be only... logical... to take the fullest advantage of that fact," he said softly, reaching out to touch Kirk suggestively.

"Mr. Spock, that's the best... " Kirk's voice faded as the Vulcan's warm, demanding mouth closed over his, effectively smothering the protest the Human had no intention of making.

***

On leaving Starbase 9 the Enterprise headed out on the next stage of her mission. It was a typical period for the crew, long weeks of normal routine broken by crises of varying degrees, including an almost disastrous first contact with an alien race.

Gradually Kirk's memories of his ordeal at the hands of the replica faded, and when he remembered it at all it was to realise that the pain and terror had only brought him closer to his bondmate.

Occasionally some new crew-woman, unaware of the situation, made it plain that the Captain's advances would not be unwelcome; but no matter how attractive she might be, Kirk was never tempted - he found that the thought of a purely physical relationship actually repulsed him now. At first there had been occasional instances of prejudice, but as time passed and Kirk and Spock remained together, their relationship gradually became known and accepted throughout Starfleet - their unswerving loyalty, and the passionate joy they found in each other impressed even those who had been inclined to condemn them, and Kirk gradually became aware that because of what they were the lives of other homosexual pairs in Starfleet was becoming easier, even to the extent that such relationships were taken into account when postings were arranged.

Their contentment was interrupted, however, when Kirk was recalled to Earth to give evidence to a Court of Enquiry; it was a tedious, time-consuming business, and Kirk obeyed with ill grace, leaving Spock in command of the Enterprise. He wouldn't have minded so much had it been important, he thought resentfully, with his usual dislike of pointless bureaucracy; but he had to go.

What troubled him most was that the dangerous time of pon farr was fast approaching for Spock. The Vulcan hid his fear as well as he could, but Kirk knew that he viewed the imminent onset of the mating fever with what was almost overwhelming terror, for it was probable that his first abortive mating would cause him to be even more deeply stricken this time.

On their last night Kirk clung to him, soothing, reassuring - he would be there when Spock had need of him. They passed the night ensuring that Kirk could recognise the signs that would signal the onset of pon farr, and the Vulcan's customary control had returned by morning.

However, when he reached Earth Kirk learned that the enquiry was even more complicated than he had expected; the weeks crawled past, and he became more and more anxious.

There was one compensation - he was able to spend some time with his mother, who was visiting her brother's house in the city where the court was sitting. Kirk had received a formal invitation from his uncle requesting him to call, and during a chilly interview the older man had made it plain that while he did not approve of his nephew's chosen way of life he would make no reference to it out of consideration for his sister. Kirk thanked him with sincerity, aware that it was a considerable concession for his uncle to have made, and he was grateful for the opportunity to be with his mother on the days when he was not required in court.

They had grown much closer since Sam's death, and he had wondered apprehensively what her reaction would be to his relationship with Spock; he did not relish the thought of hurting her, but even that would not make Kirk deny his love.

He was unsure whether to mention it or not, but she raised the subject herself on the first occasion they were alone together, enquiring anxiously if he had entered the bonding of his own free will. It was as he had feared - his cousins had presented the situation to her as a sordid affair, merely a physical attraction and the dominant Vulcan's use of his mental powers to obtain possession of Kirk, and she had visualized her son as the prey of a sadistic homosexual pervert. Kirk was angry at the distress this had caused her, and quickly reassured her, explaining his feelings shyly but with a transparent honesty that convinced her all was well.

At last she said with relief, "Well, Jim, I won't pretend I understand - things were different in my day - but if he makes you happy I can accept it. Bring your Mr. Spock to see me next time you come home."

"I will - and thank you," Kirk said quietly.

They did not discuss the matter again, but Kirk felt happier knowing that his mother was now aware of the situation and was prepared to accept it.

A considerable awkwardness arose when his cousins arrived on a visit; at their father's order Kirk's bonding was not discussed, but Kirk knew that Richard still bitterly resented his humiliation at Spock's hands, and he avoided his cousin whenever possible, not trusting his temper.

***

One morning some weeks after his arrival on Earth Kirk awoke to a dull aching hunger deep within his mind and body. He had accepted the frustration of being parted from Spock, and had learned to relieve himself of the physical symptoms while enjoying the fullness of their mental union, but this was different - nothing he could do relieved the hunger, and he experienced considerable discomfort until his arousal eventually subsided, leaving behind a desolate, nagging emptiness. An anxious query to Spock confirmed his certainty - he was experiencing the beginnings of pon farr.

They had arranged that when the time came Spock would take the Enterprise to Vulcan, where Kirk would join him - only there could they be assured of the absolute privacy that was needed, and Spock had laid great stress on the need for a Vulcan healer to be available, since a male bonding between a Vulcan and an alien was so unusual, no-one could predict the outcome.

To his fury, when Kirk applied for leave the Clerk of the Court told Kirk it was impossible - he had given the bulk of his evidence, but there might be further questions, and he must be on hand. With rapidly approaching panic he contacted McCoy, who warned Kirk that the situation was serious - now that Spock was fully bonded and sexually active, pon farr was advancing more rapidly.

Kirk knew that already - the tension in his body was growing more unbearable day by day as the influence of the bond drew him to his mate; eventually, he would have to go, or the devastating physical consequences would kill them both.

He was considering his chances of leaving without permission when he received a further message from McCoy; the Enterprise was at Vulcan for some minor repairs, and he and Scotty were bringing Spock to Earth.

Kirk thought for a moment, knowing that he would need a safe and isolated refuge; he remembered a cave he had found once when he had explored the hills around the city - there was time to establish a camp where he could receive Spock in privacy. Suddenly a thought struck him.

"Bones, I'll need at least a week to see Spock through pon farr. If Starfleet wouldn't let me go to Vulcan, I can't see them allowing me to be out of touch for so long. Yet if I'm recalled in the middle of pon farr... "

McCoy had the answer, however. "Go and see Dr. Hernadez at the Starfleet Hospital. He knows me, and he'll act on my recommendation. I'll contact him and tell him about you - he can order you medical leave. Pity I didn't think of it before."

"Thanks, Bones. I'll call you when I've seen Hernandez. And Bones... take care of Spock."

"Of course, Jim. We'll be with you in a few days."

***

Following McCoy's advice Kirk made an appointment to see the distinguished physician who was head of Starfleet's medical services on Earth. He was nervous, but the elderly man soon put him at ease by talking about McCoy. After a few moments Kirk raised the question of medical leave, and the doctor nodded.

"As I understand from Dr. McCoy, you are bonded to a Vulcan male who is now in pon farr. It is an unusual situation, Captain Kirk, but I am prepared to take McCoy's word. Leave is authorised."

Kirk returned to his uncle's home and announced his intention of making a brief camping trip. No-one seemed suspicious, and he borrowed his uncle's aircar to set up two campsites, one sheltered in a cave for himself and Spock, another at a safe distance for McCoy and Scott - the doctor insisted on being on hand in case of any difficulty. That done, he waited with all the patience he could muster for Spock's arrival, measuring his approach by the increasing discomfort within his body.

A few days later Kirk awoke knowing he could wait no longer; all night he had tossed and turned in an agony of physical frustration. The bond chafed his mind now, urging him to Spock; the increasing tension was making him irritable, but even worse was the almost constant physical arousal - it was becoming impossible to conceal.

As soon as dawn broke Kirk rose and dressed, deciding to walk to the cave in the hope that the exercise would distract him. He had made his decision just in time, he realised as he dressed - the touch of his own hands excited him almost unbearably, his swollen nipples were irritated by the material of his shirt, and it was only with considerable difficulty that he managed to fasten his trousers.

Gathering his last-minute supplies, Kirk set off; the heat of the sun increased as he walked, adding to his discomfort, and he was glad to reach the cool shelter of the cave. Dropping his rucksack he stripped off and dived thankfully into the cool water of a mountain stream which ran past the cave, but the relief was only temporary - as soon as he left the water his erection returned, even more uncomfortable than before...

The idea of dressing made Kirk shudder, but he might have to speak to McCoy; and he felt awkward at the idea of doing so in this obvious state of sexual excitement; after a moment's thought he unpacked his rucksack and slipped into the informal Vulcan tunic and sandals he had taken to wearing sometimes when alone with Spock. The soft silky material of the tunic was not so irritating to his hyper-sensitive skin, and its folds helped to conceal the physical evidence of his arousal.

Feeling more comfortable, Kirk checked the cave he had prepared. A bed of blankets, as thick as he could make it, was spread at the rear of the cave; a fire was laid, with a supply of fuel beside it; near the bed, flasks of water and emergency rations - he would need to eat, but knew he would not be able to prepare normal food; finally a medical kit, with first-aid equipment and an ample supply of stimulants.

All seemed to be ready, and Kirk sent his mind cautiously probing for Spock's. He encountered only a whirling confusion of terror, desire, and pain - the Vulcan was far advanced in pon farr, and McCoy was having to keep him constantly sedated now.

Kirk sprang up as he heard a shuttlecraft pass overhead, and ran to the mouth of the cave. The craft had landed on a level area just below, and after a moment a burly, red-shirted figure emerged, carrying a limp form in his arms. Gently Scotty laid his burden on the ground and stood up, drawing his phaser. Kirk's breath caught in his throat - he knew it was set on stun, and was a very necessary precaution should the Vulcan wake and see the Human as a rival, but a primitive part of his mind howled in outrage at the threat to his mate.

McCoy appeared, looked round, and saw Kirk; he waved reassuringly, then knelt beside Spock and pressed a hypo to his shoulder. As soon as he rose to his feet he and Scotty bolted back to the shuttlecraft and took off, leaving Kirk to watch as Spock stirred and rose unsteadily to his feet.

Like Kirk, and for the same reason, the Vulcan was dressed in tunic and sandals; he shook his head, glanced round warily, and met Kirk's eyes across the expanse of rocks between them. In the still air Kirk could hear the breath hiss between his teeth, saw the insane glitter of his eyes, and set himself to project an aura of tranquillity and welcome. Spock jerked into motion and began to climb while Kirk, wanting to be ready for him, turned and headed back inside the cave. Kirk had scarcely entered the cave, however, when a swift rush of footsteps sounded behind him, and strong arms encircled his waist in a crushing grip. He grunted, fighting for breath as eager hands reached under his tunic, fondling his erect organ. Hard warm flesh pulsed against his buttocks, and he was pushed face downwards onto the blankets, a weight pinning his spread legs so that he could not move. His tunic was torn aside, and Kirk gasped at the violence of the penetration - Spock was too desperate to use the link to soothe the pain, too much in need to spare the time to coax his lover's body to readiness. Strangely, he felt no fear; the replica had used Kirk with the same blind hunger, but with Spock it was... different. The love was still there, only overlaid for the moment by the savage passion that was the Vulcan's heritage.

Spock's orgasm came swiftly, but there was no respite. Kirk was turned onto his back, his legs were lifted to the Vulcan's shoulders, and the hot swollen shaft nudged urgently between his buttocks. The thick creamy semen that filled Kirk served as the lubricant there had been no time to apply, and there was no pain this time as the pulsing head parted the tight ring of muscle and slid deep inside him. Kirk moaned, lifting his hips, luring the invader still deeper; Spock began to thrust, accompanying the brutal lunges by sucking hungrily at each of Kirk's nipples in turn, while his long fingers squeezed the Human's buttocks rhythmically. Kirk's penis, trapped between their tightpressed bellies, responded to the friction and spasmed in climax, smearing them both with sticky, glittering wetness; the Vulcan groaned, tightened his grip on Kirk's hips, and ejaculated into the cool body beneath him.

After a moment Spock withdrew; he captured Kirk's hand and pressed it to his groin, coaxing the fingers to curl around his penis. His free hand entwined in Kirk's hair, and the Human knew the full touch of a Vulcan mind lost in pon farr.

The intensity of Spock's need startled and half-frightened Kirk, but it taught him the necessity of the meld - the normally controlled Vulcan mind could not long contain this torrent of emotion without a passive, willing partner to hold it to sanity. Kirk opened his mind fully, giving the acceptance that was needed.  _God,_ he thought,  _if Spock had been forced to mate like this with T'Pring!_

Knowing what Spock wanted he began to move his hand, stroking his maleness firmly, increasing the motion as Spock responded; the Vulcan reached round to Kirk's buttocks, sliding his fingers deep into the Human's body, while his other hand left Kirk's head to grasp and manipulate his penis in turn. The mind-link remained open, and Kirk was able to remain calm only with difficulty - the sensation of Spock's fingers working deep inside him, coupled with the skilled masturbation, made Kirk long to abandon all reason and simply respond to the stimulation, but he dared not, knowing that he had to remain alert to satisfy Spock's continually changing demands.

Again they shuddered to orgasm, then Spock sighed, shivered, and lay still. He was asleep, but Kirk could see the physical signs that told him this was only a respite - pon farr was not yet broken.

Kirk reached out for a water flask and drank thirstily. He was clasped so tightly in Spock's arms that he could not move, but he was too exhausted even to try. Putting his arms around Spock's shoulders he settled the dark head on his chest, and slept.

Pon farr continued in a confused haze of intense sexual activity. Kirk awoke from that first sleep to find Spock's penis already swelling within his body, and he responded instinctively to its demands. It quickly became clear that it was best to remain completely passive, allowing Spock to do as he wished; and he lay submissively in whatever position Spock placed him, cooperating willingly with the Vulcan's every command.

He denied Spock nothing, although he was used in ways he could never have imagined; some were, no doubt, instinctive survivors from Vulcan's remote past, when the warriors took their male bondmates with savage joy in their sexuality. At one point he found himself lying with Spock's organ in his mouth, feeling the Vulcan's tongue working busily between his legs. He was rather surprised - although Spock had accepted oral lovemaking from him, he had not as yet reciprocated, and it seemed strange that he should do so now, at a time when his own needs, not those of his partner, must surely be of supreme importance.

Kirk slept at irregular intervals, rising to relieve himself or to eat only when Spock slept. The supply of stimulants decreased rapidly as his strength faded, but Spock seemed untiring - he needed neither food nor water, his sleep was deep but very short - it was as though the only stimulus to which he could respond was the sexual urge.

Kirk's body gradually became covered with a film of dried sweat and semen; he longed to wash, but the one time he attempted to reach the stream Spock woke and came after him, catching up with him among the rocks. The Vulcan was shaking with emotion and Kirk quailed inwardly, wondering if he had angered his unpredictable lover; but as Spock caught him Kirk in a fierce hug the link intensified and he realised that Spock was, in fact, desperately afraid - afraid of being left to die alone in his madness.

"It's all right, Spock," Kirk murmured, reaching up to smooth the sweatsoaked hair from Spock's forehead. "I understand now... I won't leave you again."

Somehow he reached the tortured mind, for the fear faded to an almost pathetic gratitude, but swiftly the blind hunger came ravening back, clawing at his mind.

Spock growled deep in his throat and pushed Kirk face downwards across a boulder, driving into him with irresistible force. Kirk moaned as the rough stone scraped against his bruised flesh, but he ignored the pain, concentrating on calming the Vulcan's frenzy sufficiently to persuade him to return to the cave.

At last Spock withdrew and Kirk stood up shakily, ignoring the semen that tricked down his thighs. He cast a longing glance at the stream, shrugged resignedly, and turned back. As they walked Spock reached for Kirk's penis and began to milk him; Kirk reeled for a moment as pain shot through him - he was completely dry, incapable of any further arousal, but Spock did not seem to understand, and continued his efforts to stimulate the Human. When they reached the cave he allowed Kirk to sink down onto the blankets, then knelt beside Kirk and resumed his attempt, still with no result.

Vaguely, Kirk remembered what he had learned from one of the medical texts Spock had obtained from Vulcan - in a male bonding the partner not in pon farr nevertheless had the stamina to equal his mate's lust, though he did not share the compulsion... but Kirk did not have the strength.

Spock's hand tightened, and the pain sharpened. Kirk leaned up on his elbows and looked down, seeing with horror that the compulsive masturbation had produced a thin trickle of blood. He searched frantically for a way to distract Spock - the Vulcan could easily harm him now without intending to do so.

As Spock paused for a moment in his efforts Kirk gently pushed his hands away and leaned forward. His tongue flicked out, licking the Vulcan's penis then darted away. As he had hoped, this diverted the Vulcan. Spock moved to kneel astride the Human, pressing the tip of his swollen organ against Kirk's lips. Kirk opened his mouth and accepted it, using his tongue with all the skill he had acquired, and soon the Vulcan was thrusting deep into the coolness of his mouth.

Kirk choked, swallowed, and lay gasping for breath. He was dimly aware that he was pushed onto his hands and knees, that relentless fingers parted his buttocks, that Spock was again thrusting compulsively into his bruised flesh, but his entire body was curiously numb, as though there was no feeling left. Spock's tortured breathing seemed to come from very far away, and he wondered with vague curiosity why he could no longer feel the Vulcan's weight on his back. He was still wondering as he slipped into unconsciousness.

When Kirk regained his senses it was morning, and everything was very still. In the filtered light from the cave entrance he could see Spock lying beside him; his breathing was slow and deep, and Kirk realised with relief that he had entered the healing trance that would repair the ravages of pon farr.

With a sigh, Kirk shifted, trying to ease his cramped limbs into a more comfortable position, but as he moved, Spock stirred uneasily, and tightened his grip - even in the trance, he was closely attuned to the Human.

Kirk held him, murmuring comfortingly until he settled again, then he too lay back, keeping his arm around his lover. For a moment he considered reaching under the pillow for his communicator to call McCoy and tell him that it was over, but he felt so tired - he would rest a little longer.

As he lay waiting for sleep, Kirk considered what he had learned, realizing that his fear of pon farr had been fear of the unknown. It was a distressing experience for a Human in many ways, being both painful and exhausting - but it had been far worse for Spock. It was over, he had not been harmed by it... and its recurrence would not hold the same menace. He found that he could consider his total submission as a gift to the man he loved - a gift, moreover, that had preserved both their lives.

He thought again of T'Pring - once he had hated her for endangering Spock's life, but he knew now how his lover must have dreaded the prospect of being so open to her. With Kirk, who loved him, it had been possible, for the Human's sensuality enabled him to regard passion as something to be enjoyed, not merely... endured.

Strange, how the two people he had most hated, had, in the end, only increased his happiness. The replica, by his original assault, and the subsequent rape, had compelled him to face, first, his hidden love for Spock, then had subconsciously prepared Kirk for the violence of pon farr; and T'Pring's coldly logical selfishness had freed Spock to bond with him. Filled with overwhelming tenderness Kirk drowsily pressed his lips to Spock's cheek, then with his lover held firmly in his arms, he drifted back to sleep.

A sudden rattle of metal on stone aroused him, just as a heavily-shod foot crashed viciously into his side. The pain brought Kirk fully awake to see Richard staring down at him, his face dark with anger and disgust. The barrel of a laser-hunting rifle was pressed to Spock's head, and Kirk's arms tightened protectively around the Vulcan.

"What do you want?" he demanded, thankful that Spock was still too deep in trance to awake.

"You filthy little pervert - I guessed this was what you were up to when you sneaked away," Richard spat. "Couldn't wait to crawl back to him, could you? It took me a while to track you down, but now that I've found you, you're both going to pay for what he did to me. Get away from him, you shit - God, you disgust me!"

Carefully, Kirk laid Spock down on the blankets, settling his head on the pillow; then crouching, he turned, ready to defend his lover.

Richard's finger tightened on the trigger. "Don't try anything," he warned, "or I'll shoot him now. But I won't kill him... not yet."

"Don't hurt him," Kirk begged.

Richard laughed harshly, "Oh, he'll get hurt all right, and you'll watch. Some of my friends are outside - I told them a convincing tale of the alien pervert who took a fancy to my poor innocent cousin, and followed you to Earth to kidnap and rape you! We don't like aliens around here much, as you'll soon discover."

"No!" Kirk struggled to rise, but the laser swung menacingly closer to Spock.

"Lynching is too good for him - we're going to burn him. As for you... well, first I'll take you home... then in a few days I'll have to announce that you killed yourself in shame at what he did to you. That'll clear your name, at least."

"My people will never believe that!"

"They'll have to prove otherwise, won't they. But first, I'd better make sure you keep your mouth shut - you've been using it plenty the last few hours, I see. Can't have a rape victim pleading for the man who assaulted him, can we?" he sneered.

Kirk tried to twist aside, but Richard moved too quickly, reversing the laser to bring the butt crashing down; he avoided the full force of the blow, but lay stunned, unable to move as he heard his cousin call out. "In here, boys, I've found 'em."

Through waves of sickening pain he heard the sound of feet, voices murmuring in shocked pity, and was aware that half a dozen men had crowded into the cave.

"How's your cousin?" one of them asked, with rough sympathy.

"We're too late... you can see for yourselves."

"Holy Moses, what a mess! The guy must be insane!"

Kirk tried to speak, to tell them that they were making a terrible mistake, but he was barely conscious. He was aware that rough hands were reaching for Spock, and with a last frantic effort he threw himself on top of the Vulcan. Unable even to turn his head, he waited for the hands to pull him off, to reach again for Spock, to drag him out, to... His mind refused to carry the thought further; he could only hope that the end would come quickly...

Then, as though from a great distance, he heard a familiar voice.

"Jist drop the guns, gentlemen, and get away from them. Doctor, ah'm thinkin' there's a job for you here. Henderson, Ramirez... tak' this lot outside, and beam them up tae the ship. Pit them in the brig and wait for orders."

At the same time gentle fingers touched his shoulder and McCoy's voice said, "You're safe, Jim. Just rest."

He felt the touch of a hypo, and surrendered gratefully, knowing that his desperate gamble had come off. Under cover of Spock's body he had managed to reach and open the communicator; as he had hoped, McCoy and Scotty had been listening for his signal, and had heard Richard's threats. But they had come with a Security team, which meant that the Enterprise...

McCoy glanced up at Scotty, who was replacing his phaser on his belt. "They're both fine," he said. "Just exhausted. Help me get them back to the ship."

***

Kirk next awoke in Sickbay. He lay for some moments aware of a sense of complete well-being and achievement - he had brought Spock safely through pon farr.

_Spock! Where was he?_ Alarmed, Kirk sat up, but was restrained by McCoy.

"Now don't get so excited," he said chidingly. "Spock's here, still in a trance, but otherwise fine. You've come through better than I expected. I kept you out for twenty-four hours to make sure you rested properly; I'll just give you a quick check, and if all's okay you can return to duty."

As McCoy adjusted his scanner, Kirk turned his head to study the Vulcan on the next bed. Spock was resting quietly, the ravaged face strangely peaceful after the insanity of the last few days.

McCoy moved again, blocking his view. "Good thing you thought of the communicator," he said. "Just before you called I had a message from Uhura that Sulu had brought the Enterprise from Vulcan to pick us up, so Scotty and I sent for a Security team."

"You were only just in time," Kirk said gratefully. "They were going to... to burn Spock!"

"I know - one of the men told us everything. Your cousin spun them a tale that Spock had kidnapped and raped you, but I soon set them straight, then sent them back down. Security knows where to get hold of them if we need them again. Your cousin's still in the brig, though - I thought you'd prefer to deal with him yourself."

"No. If Spock's all right, I just want to get rid of him. You're quite sure he's?... "

"I told you, he's going to be fine... and so are you."

"Can I get back to duty then?"

"I suppose so - but take it easy."

Kirk rose, showered, and dressed, then with a last lingering look at Spock, he left for the Bridge. His arrival brought greeting, but no particular comment - Scotty and McCoy had handled everything so discreetly that only they knew what had really happened - even the Security team believed that the Captain and the First Officer had been mistakenly attacked during a camping trip.

The ship was running smoothly, Kirk found, and his estimation of Sulu's abilities increased; he recorded a commendation to that effect, earning in response a flashing smile of thanks from the young helmsman. Kirk returned the grin, and settled back comfortably in his chair - it felt good to be back.

The rest of the day passed quietly, sheer, blessed, normal routine, and the familiarity of it all made Kirk relaxed and at ease when he finally handed over to Scotty and left the bridge.

McCoy met him in Sickbay, grinning broadly. "That Vulcan of yours is out of the trance, and complaining as usual," he said, "so I've discharged him - he's back in your quarters. Make him take it easy for a few days, will you? Oh, and you might see that he gets something to eat."

"Order some dinner for us both, then, and have it sent in - I'll pick it up from the office myself. He'll eat if I tell him to. See you later, Bones."

***

Spock was resting on the bed, wrapped in one of the informal robes he liked to wear off duty. He raised his head as Kirk entered, laying aside the book he had been reading. Kirk crossed the room, took his face between his hands, and studied him lovingly.

"Jim, I must thank... " his words were smothered into silence as Kirk's lips covered his mouth in a gentle kiss.

"Later, Spock," Kirk whispered. "I need a shower... and some food... then we can talk."

Whistling cheerfully, Kirk showered, slipped on a robe, and then went into his office to collect the tray that had been left for them. Spock was reluctant to eat, but Kirk coaxed him, knowing that the Vulcan needed food after his long fast. Eventually Spock capitulated and cleared his plate. Removing the tray, Kirk handed him a mug of tea, and taking his own coffee, perched beside him on the bed.

"Well," he said lightly, deliberately raising the topic he knew must be troubling the Vulcan, "It wasn't too bad after all, Spock."

The dark eyes met his hesitantly, filled with distress, "But I hurt you, Jim." His fingers brushed a dark bruise that showed on Kirk's thigh below his robe. "How can you forgive me?"

"Look here." Kirk set his mug down and turned to hold Spock's eyes with his own. "I told you once... I'd do anything for you - even that. Now I have done it, and it didn't scare me off. When I think of T'Pring... Spock, it'd kill me to know that you were forced to go through that with someone who didn't love you. Mind you... " he chuckled, seeking to lighten the mood, "I don't think I could stand it too often... but once every seven years... well, you've got to admit, it makes a change."

Spock's lips curled in the half-smile Kirk loved, "I am... grateful," he said softly.

Kirk leaned forward and kissed him, feeling his heart beat faster as the warm lips parted in welcome. He slipped off his robe and swung himself onto the bed, pushing Spock backwards as he resumed the kiss. His hand found its way inside the Vulcan's robe to wander over the smooth skin, finally settling over Spock's groin as their breathing quickened in unison. In response to the gentle pressure Spock's legs parted and Kirk eased his hand between them, stroking the soft flesh of his thighs.

Spock gasped, and pulled his head away from Kirk's demanding mouth.

"I fear I am still too tired... to be... of much use to you," he said apologetically.

Kirk grinned, "Don't worry, just lie back and enjoy it - it's my turn now."

The warm flesh under his fingers had aroused a fierce hunger, for the almost ruthless masturbation Spock had used on Kirk had not really been satisfying. It had relieved the physical arousal at the time, but now he wanted to merge totally with his lover, to bury himself in that eager welcoming body.

Kirk eased the robe apart, then slipped it off, trailing light kisses down Spock's throat and chest; nibbling gently at the erect nipples, sliding down to blaze a path across his stomach and into the soft hair, tongue busily circling, teasing, licking a quiescent organ, for once arousing no response - Spock had been totally drained by pon farr. Kirk raised his head and smiled tenderly at the Vulcan's second whispered apology.

"I said, don't worry," he murmured, moulding Spock's fingers around his own maleness. "Feel what you're doing to me."

Obeying Kirk's whispered instructions, Spock held the rigid organ, the warmth of his hand maintaining the erection while Kirk slid his fingers into his lover's body. The Vulcan gasped in shock and released his grip to clasp Kirk's shoulders as the Human probed deeper, moving his hand in a tantalising imitation of possession; he moaned softly, pleadingly, as he writhed against that tormenting hand, seeking a deeper, firmer intrusion.

Kirk laughed again, and withdrew his hand, spreading Spock's legs wide. Vulcan trembled in anticipation. Impatient, Spock pulled Kirk against him, and the pressure of his belly on Kirk's penis triggered his ejaculation. Spock hissed in frustration, as he felt the sticky dampness trickle between their bodies.

Kirk sat up at once, consternation in his eyes - he had wanted to please Spock, and had only failed him; and he was not sure if he could achieve another erection so soon.

Strong hands pressed Kirk down firmly.

"Permit me," Spock said, his eyes meeting Kirk's understandingly.

Kirk submitted, wondering what Spock would do. His maleness was cradled in gentle hands, a dark head was bent between his thighs, and a warm tongue began a slow, gliding caress. Kirk looked down, watching in fascination; the beloved face was intent, serious, as Spock concentrated on his task. A fierce thrill shot though Kirk as the soft lips sucked at him, the tongue probing delicately as it caressed the throbbing head. He wanted this to continue, wanted to feel himself come in Spock's mouth, but the desire to enter his lover was stronger. Reluctantly he pushed the silky head away, the Vulcan returned to his former position, legs spread wide apart in invitation, and Kirk mounted him.

Using every atom of self-discipline he possessed, Kirk began to thrust slowly, determined to make this last as long as possible. Spock caught his breath and began to move with Kirk, while Kirk used the link to judge his response, and adjusted his own movements accordingly. After a time he stopped and lay quite still, allowing his excitement to subside a little in order to prolong their lovemaking further. The Vulcan sensed his intention and co-operated so that they both lay motionless, locked together.

Spock could feel Kirk within him, pulsing gently in rhythm with the Human's heart beat; it seemed so deeply embedded within his body, so familiar now, so wonderful. Kirk's control had increased markedly, he thought; when they had first begun to make love, the Human had been so impatient, driving himself into Spock's body with an almost insane frenzy. Since then, he had learned that this long, intense mating was much more pleasurable for them both.

He felt the hunger building again in his partner, a hunger which echoed in his own body as Kirk stirred and resumed his purposeful thrusting. Spock wrapped his legs around Kirk, pulled him closer - closer -

The rhythm quickened, became more urgent. His muscles contracted around the impaling organ, squeezing, holding. Kirk's lunges grew even more frantic - at each stroke he withdrew his organ almost to its full extent, only to plunge deeper with each thrust of his powerful hips. Their bellies ground together, Spock's muscles clamped tight, refusing to permit any further withdrawal; his contractions grew faster, stronger, drawing at the throbbing, pounding flesh. Kirk's hips jerked frantically, and Spock felt the sudden warm flood as Kirk's semen spurted into him, and the Human collapsed in exhaustion across his body.

With a satisfied murmur Spock slid his hands down Kirk's back to grasp the firm buttocks, pressing him closer, holding Kirk within him until the erection subsided completely; only then did he pull back, leaning up on one elbow to gaze down into his lover's flushed, pleasure-sated face.

As he regained his breath, Kirk's hand began to fondle Spock again, and to his surprise the Vulcan felt himself stir in response. So soon after pon farr! He felt a sudden panic - he could not penetrate the Human, his body was still too exhausted... but his lover's hand was moving so enticingly...

Reassurance flowed softly from Kirk's mind. His hands stroked and caressed for a few minutes, then he took the semi-erect organ into his mouth, mentally commanding Spock to lie still. Usually both co-operated in this act. Spock thrusting in response to the movements of Kirk's mouth, but this time the Human took complete control, nuzzling into Spock's groin until his lips were buried in the soft hair.

He sucked eagerly, hungrily, drawing the swollen flesh deeper into his mouth; his hands reached for the Vulcan's buttocks, and once more Spock felt the skilled fingers working deep inside him. The sensation was delicious. The logical Vulcan mind gave up any pretense of control, allowing the long-repressed sensuality of his Human blood to revel in the incredible waves of pleasure his lover's hands and mouth were producing.

Although he had concealed it well, Spock had been a little shocked the first time Kirk had loved him like this, but the pleasure had been too great to refuse; pon farr had destroyed the last of his inhibitions, and he had been able to satisfy his lover's longing for the intimate caress, and all traces of guilt had vanished in the delight they gave each other.

Kirk's hands clutched at his hips as he sucked avidly; his lips worked frenziedly as he milked the engorged organ, and he moaned in satisfaction as he felt Spock's ejaculation coursing down his throat. For a moment he lay still, his eyes half-closed in sleepy ecstasy, savouring the spicy taste, the smooth, creamy texture; then reluctantly he allowed the softening organ to slip from his mouth and scrambled up the bed to take Spock in his arms.

For a time they lay in silence, a soft drowsiness creeping over them as they enjoyed the quiet aftermath of sexual fulfillment; only Kirk's hand moved, lightly stroking the dark head that lay on his chest.

"Happy?" the Human asked, as he had asked on that first morning.

"Blissfully." It was a slow, sleepy murmur in a purring, contented tone. Kirk laughed softly, and resumed his petting; when he glanced down again, Spock was asleep.

Very tenderly, Kirk kissed the closed eyes and lay back, holding the Vulcan close in his arms. Spock's head rested between his thighs, and its presence there seemed almost a promise that it would awaken Kirk to a new ecstasy; in the meantime it was a warm, comforting feeling.

With a start Kirk remembered it was on this night two years ago that the replica had first come to him. Only two years! So much had happened to him since then. He knew the best and the worst now, and as he lay waiting for sleep the memories crowded in.

His first, half-shocked realisation of what Spock actually meant to him; the gentle magic of their first kiss; the incredible sensuality he had unlocked in Spock's virgin body; Spock's eyes as he acknowledged his Human bondmate before all Vulcan.

Painful, bitter, anguished memories too. Looking up to see green blood oozing from the keela's bite; the terror of that long night, not knowing if Spock would live; the replica - his mind still recoiled in horror from the memory of that rape. His feeling of being soiled beyond any cleansing by that ruthless domination; Spock in pon farr - the burning, tormented eyes, the hoarse, rapid breathing, the clutching hands, the relentless invasion of his mind and body, his own acceptance, knowing that his body was hostage for Spock's life. Waking to find Richard's laser at Spock's head, the fear of what might be done to him before he was killed.

But following these, and erasing them, happier memories.

Spock smiling as only he could; the tender, teasing laughter; silk and velvet, the texture of his hair and skin, the sure touch of those long, slim hands; the warm spicy taste of the Vulcan's kisses; and his body's glad acceptance of his lover.

Yes, the joy out-weighed the sorrow... and there would be more, so much more... Utterly content, Kirk laid his cheek against Spock's dark hair; he drifted into sleep, his mind entwined around that of his lover as their unique bond drew them into their shared world of dreams...

**Author's Note:**

> First printed as a zine, illustrated by Virginia Lee Smith, in the UK, the story was originally written some forty years ago, and parts of it reflect the fact that back then homosexuality was illegal throughout most of the world.


End file.
